Legends of Twitter, S1 EP5 -“There’s No Way, In Norway?”
Previously on Legends of Twitter…
As the episode begins, we see a montage of the Legends waking up and getting into cars and heading straight to their private jets. As each Lady boards, we see Paulo help Jake onboard, as he slips as he enters last. As the plane takes off, we see a quiet cabin of Legends…
Paulo: Oh! Careful there handsome man. Ladies! Are we ready for take off? Norway here you come!
Jake: Okay, we should be landed in about 3 hours Legends so get comfy and zen ahead of our final days together! How are we all feeling!
Grace: I have sand in my shoes still
Jac: I’m ready! Let’s redo Norway girls!
Devyn: Oh my goodness not Norway! We made a mess of that place last time!
Brian: Oh god, I’m so hungover.
Erica looks at Brian and rolls her eyes
Jake: We’re actually shooting three scenes at the same time as soon as we land, so just do what you all do best and give us a show and make it fun! We’re only here for a short amount of time!
Tre: Come on Legends let’s have some fun after last nights mess!
The scene ends as we see the plane take off and land in snowy Norway…
The Legends all gather to their hotel rooms, where we see Jac, Billie and Devyn head off out together to head back to the infamous bar they all clashed in in Season 7…
Billie: WOW. This is just like I remember it!
Devyn: This is really my favorite place.
Jac: *walks in and sees Billie and Devyn sat at the bar* Hello ladies *scurries over to the women*
Devyn: Hey Jac Carter.
Billie: There she is!! Does this bar look familiar to you two?
Jac: Billie, is this the same restaurant where we had our little brawl? *laughs*
Devyn: *laughs* It is!
Devyn’s Confessional: Such epic planning by me.
Billie: I was just fixing to say this was the restaurant where we got kicked out for fighting and throwing glass!
Billie’s Confessional: Not one of my proudest moments while I was on this show!
Jac: Oh my god! That is too funny!! *kisses the girls on the cheek*
Devyn: You’re always throwing glass. Don’t speak too loud. They may have flashbacks and kick us out again
Billie: Well this time around I want a different experience
Jac: I’m surprised there aren’t posters of our faces out by the hostess
Devyn: Me too Jac. Are y’all getting along better these days?
Jac: Well you missed out on what happened in Ibiza *laughs*
Billie: *looks at Jac* are we girl? I don’t ever know
Jac: I think we are. Look, are we ever going to be the bestest of friends? Probably not but there’s definitely love between Billie and I and for me that’s enough.
Billie: There definitely is love here between us two. I just think that Jac and I are two strong women who are hard headed and set in our ways, and that doesn’t always mesh well. Jac summed it up best, I don’t think we will ever be seen out and about going for drinks but I will never say never *laughs*
Devyn: That’s a good place to be in. It also means one small thing can trigger it. I’m so proud of y’all. Have y’all forgiven each other though? Or is this trip cordial behavior? Either way I’m proud.
Jac: Let’s try and stay away from triggers then *laughs*
Billie: You’re exactly right Devyn.
Jac: For me, I’m moving on from the past. Am I cautious? Absolutely but I think it’s hard to do a show like this and not have that kind of relationship with a lot of your costars
Devyn: Bingo sis. I don’t like everybody but hill them with kindness right. *laughs*
Billie: I have forgiven Jacqueline Carter. I think we are grown and more mature now than when we were back on season 7
Jac: Who would you guys say you developed the closest relationship with on the show and who would you never want to work with again?
Devyn: Aside from BB here, probably Tyler and Ava Atwood. I’m getting really close to Erica. I love her. I’ll never work with a Jerica or Lauralie again. Hell nah.
Billie: I would say surprisingly enough I still talk to Kylee. And then I hung out with Devyn and Tyler every now and then And someone I never wanna work with again is obviously Joshuaa Lime
Jac: Omg you still speak with Ava? Did she end up murdering that man?
Devyn: No she didn’t. Ava is great. She went through a lot. I’m so proud of the person she is now. Joshuaa and I made amends last year. It was so necessary. Our relationship was more toxic than Kim and Kanye. We are friendly now. It took a lot of growth and maturity. Would y’all do the show again? I mean if Billie is sharing photos of Jac? *laughs*
Jac: What photos is Billie sharing of Jac?
Billie: Wait what are you talking about Devyn?
Devyn: Jac, honey that is so 7 years ago. You’re making it bigger than it needed to be. Now it’s going to have a place on the show. We know how this game works behind the scenes.
Devyn’s Confessional: Jac baby chill out. Nobody and I mean nobody cares about those pictures.
Jac’s Confessional: For those of you living under a rock, Pat Fireson doctored some photos of me back in season 10 and claimed on international television that I had her herpes but why would Devyn bring that up right now? That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about and it feels a little slimy on Devyn behalf
Billie’s Confessional: I knew better than to bring that up here because I would I’ve gotten a glass across my face. You see how riled up Jac is about the subject matter.
Billie: Well girls I think we need a shot on that note
Jac: Devyn I have children and a husband. Do you think I want that cunt and her bullshit photos brought up to me
Devyn: Sure Billie let’s do that.
Billie: *leans in to the bartender* I need 3 shots of patron stat. Things might go left real quick…
Devyn: We all have children and significant others. It’s only going to be a big deal because you’re making it one.
Jac: You brought it up!! *shouts at Devyn* Would you want to be on television and have someone claim you’ve had a sexually transmitted infection? For me children to hear?
Devyn: Girl sit down before you get a busted lip talking to me like that. Of course I brought it up. Sorry your triggered boo. You’ve done worse things to people than some photos that never saw the light of day.
Jac: Who is busting whose lip?! I know you aren’t
Devyn: You if you yell at me like you’ve lost your mind again. We can talk and disagree respectfully.
Billie: Ladies it is not that serious. It was doctored photos for crying out loud. Why would you act like that if it wasn’t true especially all these years later
Jac: *gets up* You know what, I need to get out of here. The last thing I want is for production to call an ambulance for this bitch
Devyn’s Confessional: Jac has an alligator mouth, but a humming bird ass. Her mouth writes checks her ass can’t cash.
Devyn: Exactly Billie. *stands up in Jac’s face* Who the hell is going to need an ambulance? You better walk your ass out of here before you’re carried.
Jac’s Confessional: Right now, I’m starting to see red. Devyn is supposed to be my friend. She was around when Pat smeared my name. She is fully aware of what has transpired between Pat and I since I left the show. So why bring this up to me? She’s bringing it up to cause a fight and if I don’t leave there will be a fight
Billie: *stands in between them two* neither one of you is gonna need an ambulance unless you knock this fragile bitch down!
Devyn: I’m sorry for bringing it up, but you’ve lost your damn mind. *to producers* Get the bitch out of here.
Jac: Pfft, you aren’t worth the dirt on the bottom of my shoe. I’m leaving! *producers try to get me back to the table* No, I’m fucking done with that trailer turd. I’m out of here
Billie: *goes over to production* This has got to be a fucking joke right. Why is this a big deal??
Jac: *leaves the restaurant but turns around and yells back* CHEERS TO FUCKING NORWAY YOU BITCH
Devyn: MAKE SURE TO TAKE YOUR HERPES MEDS
Jac: *gets in the back of the car* Fucking cunt
Billie: *yells back* CHEERS BITCHES TO NORWAYYYY here’s to a crazy ride 2.0.
Devyn: Because Billie if Jacquline isn’t the star she tries to make herself the star. Let’s go. I have better things to do than to deal with her crazy.
Billie: Well she isn’t the fucking only legend here. She has lost her mind if she thinks she’s gonna be the center of attention. I have a snowmobile ride with tre and Erica that we can go do since we’ve been asked to leave.
Devyn: Let’s go. I’m not worried about that hoe.
Billie’s Confessional: Well so much for being on our best behavior and having a better time this time in Norway than the last time.
Devyn’s Confessional: Jac needs to own her shit, or learn how to laugh. Either one could save her from husband never 4.
The scene ends as we see Jac fall over in the snow outside after getting back to the hotel, and Devyn and Billie enjoy a shot together at the bar.
The next scene begins as we see Grace and Tre enter a restaurant where they are taken to a private table and served some drinks… dramatic music plays as the two Legends sit and sip on their cocktails…
Grace’s Confessional: I am still a little confused and upset deep down as to how Tre and I got into this place were in, we’re friends! I just want to know where she’s coming from
Grace: *gets out of the SUV and slips slightly on the ice* I miss Ibiza already!!*gets the camera man to help her into the mall*
Tre’s Confessional: You know I truly don’t have a “problem” with Grace. Has she annoyed me? Yes, but I don’t hate her. I couldn’t hate her even if I tried so I’m hopeful that a new setting will get us back on track.
Tre: You look mighty refreshed
Grace: Oh well thanks, I got this quick 35 minute facial at the hotel. I need it with my age *laughs* So, let’s go in I can see fur and axe throwing? I’m scared *laughs*
Tre: I may need to be a little careful with you around an ax Miss Grace. You might chop my head off. *laughs*
Grace: Oh boy, I mean. Can we just settle this now? I can’t with the anxiety. You know I adore you, I always have, I don’t want any issues between us. Our friendship means a great deal to me. *hugs Tre*
Tre: *hugs Grace back* Listen. I don’t want there to be any animosity towards us because I’m truly not that upset with you. You did call me out of my name but I feel our “issues” isn’t that deep to where it can’t be resolved.
Grace’s Confessional: Tre knows me outside of this show, it might not be popular to admit it but she does. So, why the issues here? Let’s sort it out!
Tre’s Confessional: Giving me a hug was a nice gesture but I do want to talk things out instead of sweeping it under the rug. Things don’t get resolved that way and you’ll still need to clean up under it anyway. *laughs*
Grace: I think we’ve both said things on this trip that upset the other. Jake *points to production* they told me you said to the girls you and I aren’t good friends? *looks into the camera* it’s legends okay and thank god because I can’t wait to watch this and then be upset all over again!
Tre: Outside of the show you were always very nice and kinda to me as I was to you. I also understood how it felt to be an outcast on the show so I did sympathize with you there as well. I think I said we were acquaintances because I’ve never met your children, you never met mine but I said that because I was so frustrated. I do like to think we’re Twitter friends…
Grace: I get that, but coming in to this show and seeing you I was so excited, by the way I have one daughter. *cringes* but okay you’re right. You have been there for me when not many others have and I’ll always appreciate that.
Tre’s Confessional: We are just Twitter friends. That’s how I know Grace. *laughs*
Grace: But it’s a shame to think you think that less of me *dramatic pause*
Tre: Like I said I don’t think it’s something we can’t work out because our issues aren’t that deep but I feel you kinda changed. I was told about this Grace and now I’m seeing it for myself which was disappointing.
Grace: What Grace is that? And who told you? I just think if we’ve hit a bump like we have it’s worth putting it all out on the table!
Tre: The Grace that’s very dramatic. One who lacks self-awareness and and responsibility. I’m not going to tell me who told me that because that’s irrelevant. What you should take from that is how I formed something with without other’s opinions
Grace’s Confessionakl: Listen it hurts to hear Tre say she doesn’t class me as a good friend per say, and it’s true and I know why she doesn’t invite me to more things. It’s because of my reputation and what other past cast members say about me. I just realise in this moment with Tre that I truly need to accept that I also play a part in certain situations
Grace: I accept your opinion, but I’d like to know
Tre’s Confessional: I’m not going to tell Grace who told me what but you should already know by process of elimination. It could’ve been the whole cast. *laughs*
Tre: I’m not going throw people under the bus but if you have your speculations then you already know. *laughs* I didn’t want to come here to talk about other people. I want us to enjoy being Legends on this trip. We hit a little bump but all roads aren’t even
Grace: I guess we’ve disappointed each other here and for that I am sorry. I try to fill these big boots and try to be what the show wants me to be, but really it’s only to my own detriment. It’s not nice to hear some say they don’t think I’m a legend. But I guess you reap what you sow
Tre: I think we both suppled an entertainment factor to the show that most people wouldn’t understand and we often get labeled for it
Grace: I agree, often I say it like it is and get villified for it.
Tre: And not many people can handle that honestly but at the end of the day you can’t let this *points to the cameras* get you down
Grace grabs Tre’s hand
Grace: After this is done, I would love to meet your children and I can bring Amy along, if you would be open to that. I want to get to know you better.
Tre: Of course! Just let me know when you come to the island because you need a code to come to the residence. *laughs* And I’m sure the island would love to have a personality like you Grace haha
As the two Legends finish their drinks, we see them each throw an ax and both miss terribly, as the scene ends with a shot of the snowy mountains in the night sky…
As Erica and Brian are driven to a local fish restaurant, we see neither of them speaking in the car ride over as the next scene begins, the screen shows the stunningly wintery venue as they begin walking around the snowy terrain…
Erica’s Confessional: Here goes production setting up which looks like a sit-down between Brian and me. We’re supposedly going to a fish market, but I don’t understand why since the stench from Brian already resembles an ocean and its critters.
Brian: How are you, my love?
Brian’s Confessional: So of course, I have to go for a moonlight walk with Erica, the day after I outed her from where I met her way back when. I’m assuming production wants us together assuming she will be apologizing to me.
Erica: I’m amazing thanks! You should feel right at home here in Norway right? *points at a fish market* I wouldn’t want to see a bunch of my dead relatives if I was you…
Brian: What does that mean? That I’m FISHY?!
Erica: Pretty much!
Brian: So are you planning on just being nasty with me or can we have a conversation
Erica: *chuckles* I have yet to be “Nasty” towards you. I’m just reciprocating the energy that was given towards me; however, if you would like to have a conversation, I’m woman enough to have one.
Brian: I’ve been nothing but nice to you sweetheart
Erica: I guess we both interpret that word differently. Trying to spread “porn” allegations about me doesn’t correspond with the word “nice”, pooh.
Brian: Did I ever say PORN?
Erica: Did you ever deny it? Instead you let the legally blonde reject run around screaming porn. You & I both know it was a nude photoshoot but my vagina was covered.
Brian: You just kept denying denying like a coward or something. Like who cares, we’re all born naked. And we die naked.
Erica: I know you’re going a little brain dead from all that filler slipping away to your brain BUT If you can recall last nights events, I’ve never rejected it. One thing about me baby, I live with NO regrets.
Brian: Great, wonderful, how exciting. So what the hell is the issue?
Erica: The issue is I felt like your intentions upon bringing that up was to be MESSY. We’re all done this show and we all know when to clock in to bring up some mess.
Brian: I’m not here to make anything messy my love. If you really knew me you would know I’m not one to make mess.
Erica: Well I don’t know you and I think that’s where things got misconstrued. To me, if you weren’t being messy then it’s not a problem but in that instance that’s how I felt.
Brian: And I’m sorry you felt that way. Moving forward I can tip toe around you.
Brian’s Confessional: She wants to break the glass and then expect me to walk all over this broken glass? No girly. No.
Erica: And I’m sorry you made it that way. We’re clearly not going to get anywhere with this conversation, so we can move along.
Erica’s Confessional: Honestly, Brian is just here… I won’t talk to her, she won’t talk to me and I’m perfectly fine with that. Next Question. *sips drink*
Brian: What can I say? Sorry for the confusion…
Erica: *looks at producers* we done? Okay great *walks away* I’m done then
As we see Erica walk off and into a bar, the scene ends…
We see the Legends get ready, and head to a gorgeous mini restuarant which is in the hills of the mountainous area in Norway, the Legends take their seats as the scene begins…
Jac’s Confessional: It’s been a crazy day. After my run in with Dev and Billie, I’ve kept mostly to myself. I went on a drinking tour through Oslo and met some tremendous locals. I hope no one starts with me at this dinner because I’ve had one too many shots of vodka to be the nice, sweet, angelic Jac you’ve all come to know and love
Tre’s Confessional: My conversation with Grace earlier went better than expected so I’m hoping all of the ladies are in a good space so we can have a good time with no drama. *laughs*
Erica’s Confessional: After walking and visiting the fish market and scoping out some of Brian’s relatives, I’m over the drama with her but I do have another fish to fry.
Grace’s Confessional: I AM TIRED! *laughs* God I’ve not travelled this much since I was in my 20’s! Anyway, im pleased that Tre and I are on common grounds. It’s only up from here!
Brian’s Confessional: After todays drama with Erika the non porn star, mama needs a drink! Norway is becoming my least favorite country and it’s only because Erika is here. You can take the brat outta twitter but take her to Norway and she’s still just a brat.
Devyn’s Confessional: After going back and forth with Jac today, I’m already over it. I’m looking forward to a relaxing dinner and ignoring the people I don’t want to talk too.
Billie’s Confessional: Oh how I love the Norway air. It reminds me of a time I think someone cut someone with glass.
Producer: Billie it was you that threw a glass on Tyler and Brian that trip
Billie: Oh shit it was me, wasn’t it! *laughs* God what a dark place I was in at the time! Let’s hope for a better dinner this time around.
Tre: You ladies all look really nice for the occasion!
Brian: So…who needs a drink after today?
Grace: I’ll take a margarita please, no salt extra limes
Brian: Make that 2!
Tre: Same I need a good cocktail right now *laughs*
Jac: I was going to order the same thing Grace but I’ll get a pornstar martini instead
Jac: Anyone else want a pornstar martini?
Devyn: I’ll take a margarita extra salt half rocks half blended.
Tre: We’re still on the pornstar thing?
Brian: Be carful, apparently Erika is still very offended
Devyn: Sure Jac. Give me a pornstar martini.
Grace: What did you two get up to?
Brian: Everyone! I apologized to Erica! For creating such confusion within the group!
Grace: For calling her a whore?
Billie: Well that’s good Brian, meanwhile I’ve had quite the day already!
Devyn: Erica, did you accept?
Erica: *smiles and moves my purse out of the way* Speaking of pornstar, Jac I found it very lovely how it was you going around screaming “pornstar”. I know you have a few cobwebs up in that dust nest but i’m only a pornstar for my husband so we can hush up on that.
Billie’s Confessional: Devyn don’t you think you’ve stirred the pot enough today *laughs*
Tre: OH! The shade starts early… *sips cocktail*
Jac: Huh? I’m just trying to order a drink!
Erica: I’m just saying, it was messy for you to run around screaming pornstar. You didn’t know the facts so next time do what you do best. Sit there and look pretty, ok?
Devyn: Awe, she called you petty Jac.
Brian: There’s legit no reason to be such a stuck up bitch though Erika…
Grace: But Erica isn’t a Pornstar so it’s all good! Brian maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. Like me, I’m learning!
Devyn: HA. Not Brian Social calling someone stuck up. Now now we don’t talk about ourselves that way.
Tre’s Confessional: The new face is very pretty. It makes Jac look like angel.
Erica: You cared enough to run around screaming “pornstar” or maybe that was you trying to be messy to get your spot back on LoT, I know those funds dried up girl, but you ain’t getting a bird from me hunny.
Grace: TAKE MINE! *laughs*
Erica: seeing as though, you got fired, your show got cancelled and like I said, you’re piss poor broke. YOU need my spot.
Brian: Ha, okay, okay.
Devyn: Y’all today was a shit show with Jac. Right Jac and Billie?
Billie: Oh it was definetley interesting to say the least!
Jac: My sweethearts, my daily rate on this show is more than you made your first season. I don’t need to go back and forth with the likes of you for any job. Okay?
Devyn: I really wasn’t trying to cause problems, I swear. Skank.
Devyn’s Confessional: I was *winks*
Tre: *To Grace* I’m glad we’re okay so we can watch the rest of them argue. *laughs*
Grace: I know right, we’re the adults now!
Erica: (Continued) I mean Brian, I would be broke too if all my money went on coke.
Brian: COKE! Wow, you’re REALLY reaching huh
Brian’s Confessional: C’mon now, really? We’re going there?
Jac: Ignore her Brian, she’s a one season wonder at MOST! ANYWAY, Devyn… given that you spent the better part of a decade thrusting your vagina up against a pole, I wouldn’t be calling anyone a skank.
Devyn: Oh honey I embrace my hoe and skankish phase of life. Join the club. Delusions never get you anywhere.
Billie: OH MY GOD JAC
Tre’s Confessional: I was expecting dinner to go a bit differently if I’m honest. Jac has already gotten slapped…does she want a part two?
Jac: Whilst you were crawling across a stage for dollar bills, I was designing clothes that you wear, making furniture that you sit down, owning night clubs that you paid entry to get into and writing books that you read
Tre: There is nothing wrong with being a hoe because we’ve all been some hoes up in here! Some are just more gloried than others *laughs*
Devyn: If you had a little more hoe in you, you might not be on husband number 3.
Jac: Number 2 sweetheart *winks* We all can’t sleep with our friends husbands, can we now? *flashback to Devyn romancing Tyler’s ex-husband*
Devyn: Jac, if you’re just jealous, say it! I don’t blame you!
Jac: Jealous of what? The fact that there are countless men in the city of Twitter who have paid you $5 for a lap dance?
Devyn: $5 girl I ain’t a crack hoe ok the street. Ask Tom how much he paid when he saw me back then. I also didn’t sleep with my friends husband. THEY WERE DIVORCED.
Jake: OKAY LADIES ENOUGH, Devyn and Jac, both go and take a walk!
Billie: Girls there is no need for this, please calm down! The only thing Devyn did was bring up how the last time we were here Jac had horrible accusations thrown at her saying she had herpes
Grace: Devyn skips the reunion and comes back HOT
Erica: *giggles and sips my drink* So what’s for dinner. production make sure she doesn’t do any lines whilst she’s away. We don’t need anymore chaotic moments.
Tre: If Erica was a pornstar so be it! I mean clearly you’re putting money in her pockets if you watched. If Devyn was hoe and a stripper, she was making money and was proud of her body. There’s nothing wrong with it
Tre’s Confessional: Let’s me honest. Most of them women don’t have a clean past. I was a stripper myself and I LIKED IT and I sometimes do miss it. There’s nothing wrong with expressing yourself in a sexual way. I would pay to see Devyn & Erica honestly. *laughs*
Grace: Jeez louise
Tre: Well Grace and I talked and we made amends so we’re all good. That’s some good news at least. *laughs*
Grace: YES! So happy about that!
Erica: Good for you guys! At least something good happened. I have to say sitting under these lights is amazing. Best part of the trip so far. *points to the green aura lights*
All the ladies look in awe as we see the gorgeous northern lights stun the sky
Devyn: Jac why are you staring at me
Jac: I’m looking at you because I am sad
Devyn: Brian has a shoulder, go cry on it. In my opinion Jacquline, you overreacted to something that wasn’t suppose to be this big. You said some unnecessary shit as well. If you want to apologize, I’m listening.
Grace’s Confessional: Can we bring Jac back? I’ve never seen Devyn so alive whilst we taped!
Jac: Maybe i did overreact but would you want people to talk about you having a sexually transmitted disease?
Devyn: Why is a lie from years ago making you so mad?
Jac: Because I had to spend tens of thousands of dollars legally trying to defend myself. I had my reputation dragged through the mud. I had fans walking up to my husband and saying, “why would you marry that? She’s a dirty infected rat?”
Devyn: WE’RENT YOU TWO LYING ABOUT ERICA LAST NIGHT!?
Erica’s Confessional: Am I going crazy? Or are these dumb broads trying to villainize Dev as if they didn’t just pull this on me last night? How hypocritical.
Erica: Okay girls, let’s leave them to it
Jac’s Confessional: Talking to Devyn is like talking to one of those cartoon characters whose run into a wall. Flying birds in that bitches brain
Devyn’s Confessional: Let’s be real, Jac overreacted to me pulling down the fourth wall. She can’t own it. Almost makes you wonder if….. nevermind. Welcome to Norway bitches! We’re giving you a show. Ya welcome!
Devyn: I can go allll night!
Jac: Oh shut up! You’re SO desperate! You know what…
Devyn: Scared of what I know!? Are you!?
Jac: Bring it…
As the rest of the Legends leave the snowy table, Jac and Devyn continue to shout over each other as the episode ends and we see a TO BE CONTINUED hit the screen…