Season 10, Episode 17: “Maid for the Shade”
As the episode begins, we see shots of the women, aside from Tyler, arriving in Barcelona at the airport. We see shots of the women’s luggage being loaded onto a bus as they all board and the scene begins…
Leah Confessional: Hola Spain! We’re finally here, and I am SO excited to have a great trip!
Pat: That was a great Flight! SO comfortable!
Joshuaa: So Leah where are heading?
Leah: A private mansion with our own private beach, full staff. You’re gonna love it
Joshuaa: Oh, THE MAYOR SPENT HONEY!
Nina: Oh yes, Mrs. First Lady of Twitter
Pat Confessional: Hopefully not tax payer money. *coughs*
Leah: Everyone has their own suite and they’re lovely except…..well one of you will have to stay in the maids quarters but it’s lovely.
Nina: Oh well I’m sure Devyn could stay there…
Jac: I’m assuming the maid quarters is closest to the pantry so it would make sense that she stays there
Leah: Tyler is staying with me in the master and you can fight over the rest.
Joshuaa: Oh so y’all have no beef now?
Joshuaa Confessional: Leah seems a bit phony, like girl have something to say about what’s happening in the group?
Leah: No, we’re perfectly fine…
Jac: Anyways…looks like we’re here Ladies. *points as the bus pulls into a stunning villa*
The Ladies then get off the bus to see a staff standing outside the villa with glasses of rose ready for them…
Joshuaa: LOVE THIS! I love rose!
Pat: Exactly what I was dreaming of on the plane! Cheers gals!
Nina: Wow, such a nice house and pretty staff!
Leah: Welcome ladies!
Jac: Oh yes thank you very much *smirks and takes a sip before whispering to Joshuaa* I wish they had sangria. We are in Spain for Christ’s sake
Devyn: Leah, you’ve outdone yourself. This place is great.
Pat: Where did you find the info for this place? It’s awesome
Joshuaa: Thank god someone’s got class!
Nina Confessional: The house is gorgeous don’t get me wrong but I wish we were in something more authentic and Spanish. This looks like the typical Twitter Hills home we see everyday!
Nina: I love the house very Spanish!
Leah: Okay, so as I mentioned, Tyler and I have the master suite. *shows the Ladies the master bedroom*
Jac: Where the hell is Tyler? *looks around*
Leah: He’s coming a little late…
Joshuaa Confessional: Tyler ain’t even here and he gets privileges? What the fuck.
Leah: So I’ve numbered the other rooms so to decide who is staying where I want everyone to think of a number between 1–5 and one by one I’ll ask for that number. That number corresponds to a room.
Pat: Sounds fair enough
Devyn: I love a cute game.
Leah: If you picked a number and someone already picked it, then you’ll have to choose another. So let’s start with you Joshuaa. What number?
Joshuaa: Erm, 4!
Leah: Room 4 is Joshuaa’s! *shows the Ladies a room with a view*
Joshuaa: Oh I love it!!
Pat: Very nice!
Leah: Next up is you, Devyn!
Devyn: Such a gorgeous room. I’ll pick 5
The Ladies then walk down the hallway to a spacious bedroom that will be Devyn’s…
Devyn: I love it! Thanks Leah!
Leah: Good choice Jac! Room 2 *shows the Ladies a room with a large bed and balcony*
Jac: Yes mama! Now this is what I’m talking about *snaps*
Leah: Nina… 3 or 1?
Nina: Well I’ll pick 3
Leah: Room 3 to Nina! *Leah then shows the Ladies another nice bedroom*
Nina: I love it it’s cute! Thanks!
Jac: Cute and basic, just like you Nina.
Leah: Well, Pat I guess you’ve got # 1. You love being number one anyway
Joshuaa: Wait so who got the gross room?
Leah: Well, as I mentioned one of you would have to stay in the maids quarters and Pat that goes to you…
The Ladies then walk into the kitchen and to a bedroom located beside of the pantry…
Nina: Oh hell no
Pat: Sounds good!
Jac: *looks under the bed* oh look Pat…there’s so much room for your bags
Leah Confessional: *producer: Did you purposefully give Pat the maids room* Absolutely not. You all saw how the game worked. I had nothing to do with it *starts holding in laughter*
Devyn: Pat, if you want to stay in my room, you can.
Pat: If it’s good enough for the maid, it’s good enough for me.
Leah: Well now that we all have our rooms let’s all freshen up and meet back down here for dinner. The chef has a special meal for us
Jac: That’s nice of you, Pat, because I would lose my fucking shit if this was my room.
Pat: It’s a room, it’s a bed. Some people don’t even have that.
Jac: Leah, are you sure you don’t want to go out? I know the most amazing restaurant along Barcelona Beach?
Jac Confessional: Stay in? In Barcelona? Oh no honey…that isn’t what we do in Spain
Leah: No Jac, the chef is cooking for us on the yacht.
Jac: *walks into Pat’s room* Pat! No girl! Grab your bags let’s go
Pat: No! It’s okay *laughs* I already looked into the Lani’s Suites de Luxe
Jac: Shut up! *grabs Pat’s makeup bag* You’re staying in my room
Pat: Thank you Jac.
Jac: *walks over to room carrying Pat’s make up bag and rolling his carry on before yelling* CAN SOMEONE HELP ME WITH THESE BAGS?
As the Ladies begin getting ready in their rooms, the scene shifts and we see a yacht docked outside of the villa where the Ladies are staying. They begin to board one by one, greeting each other, and taking their seats as the scene begins…
Jac Confessional: Even though this yacht is gorgeous, I still think Leah should’ve taken us out tonight. I get it though. She’s never seen the riches of Spain so she thinks a little boat buffet will excite us.
Jac: Well isn’t this fabulous Leah!
Pat: *whispers* D! Your fucking nipples are out *laughs* So what did you want to talk to me about before?
Devyn: *laughs* I look cute don’t I Pat?
Pat: Definitely, I love it!
Devyn: Nothing big Pat. Just wanted to apologize for my part in our friendship troubles. I really love you and your son, and want to move forward.
Pat: Yeah it’s become from TIT for tat, no pun intended *giggles* I’m just ready to move on. Not really into having drama this trip
Jac: That’s such a beautiful sentiment Devyn. Did you think of that after you ruined Pat’s book launch? A way for him to support himself and his son?
Devyn: *ignores Jac* Everything looks lovely Leah.
Pat: I appreciate that Jac. I think in both situations we wanted to have a conversation with someone and it went sideways as it always does
Jac: Hmmm nothing to say…*to waiter* yes bring the first course, she’s *gestures to Devyn* hungry
Pat: Still don’t know why Leah can’t move on *sips wine*
Leah: Move on from what Patricia?
Pat: Not sure to be honest. It seems like you will always have an issue with me. I thought we moved on *shrugs*
Jac: Hold on, didn’t you two sort it out at the book launch?
Pat: I thought so Jac, But then I heard she was saying nasty stuff about my book and whatever
Leah: Issue?! I don’t have one I think you have one. I had some comments about his book that he didn’t like, but other than that I thought we were fine
Pat: I don’t have one. It just seems that we take a step forward and then we are knocked back. Like the rooming situation. If Tyler is rooming with you, why couldn’t another room be with two of us too? Just seems like a calculated move to make me feel less than a human being.
Leah: Well I don’t think you can say WE have an issue if I don’t know about it. So maybe it’s just you *sips soup* I can’t make you feel any way my love.
Pat: No, but you do.
Leah: These are personal issues I can’t really assist you with
Pat: I just think… *looks around at the group* I’m me. I say stupid things. I do stupid things. I apologize, i own my shit. I don’t remember you apologizing or owning up to anything ever
Leah Confessional: Listen I know Pat is on this mission to humanize herself but I know you’re just a wolf in sheep’s clothing girl. You can perform for the group and “Woe is me” all you want. I see right through you. Paying you dust
Leah: Sure Pat. *starts cutting meat*
Just then, the scene shifts as we see a pair of heels walking down towards the boat. The camera then pans up as Tyler is seen walking onto the boat towards the Ladies…
Tyler: Hola chicas!
Leah: Oh thank God, Tyler!!
Joshuaa: *sips cocktail* Girls, I’m suddenly feeling sick not sure why
Joshuaa Confessional: It’s because I don’t want to be around the devil and Tyler
Leah: You’re seated right next to me and Joshuaa, honey
Devyn: Tyler! Lovely to see you babe.
Tyler: Perfect *sits down* How have things been?
Jac: Pretty tame actually, Ty. Devyn is pregnant
Tyler: Pregnant with what?
Jac: A child, girl. Can’t you see she’s been eating for two
Devyn: Chile, I don’t have time for a baby.
Joshuaa: She looks fat enough
Pat: What took you so long to get here, Ty?
Devyn: Are we in middle school? Can y’all chill with the mean girl fat jokes?
Tyler: I had to handle a meeting for Zack.
Pat: Oh okay. Did that all work out?
Tyler: It’s going. I don’t know if it worked out yet, but we will see. It’s about reduced time
Joshuaa: Well, girl, you are very very fat I’m just saying. Anyways, I’m heading out I’m bored and can’t be bothered for this. Goodnight ladies
Leah: Well that was…abrupt
Tyler: Man, is he that scared to sit next to me? *laughs*
Pat: That was just odd. Like I know everyone’s not getting along but stop we on vacation
Jac: Look I get it. He doesn’t want to be around Tyler or Devyn. Why would he?
Tyler: The feeling is mutual
Leah: But you’d think Joshuaa can act like an adult
Tyler: Jac, I’ve done nothing to him that he hasn’t done to me
Jac: Exactly Ty, and you don’t want to be around him. I get your feelings and I get his feelings
Tyler: But I can sit at a table, I’m not a child. *laughs*
Jac: He’s had a few too many cocktails and probably doesn’t want to sit at this table
Tyler: *waves hand* Adios asshole
Pat: The mean comments need to just stop though. Like we can’t even get through a dinner with out it
Jac: No Pat, we can’t
Tyler: So is nobody gonna say what the latest argument is?
Pat: No one had been arguing
Tyler: I clearly walked into something.
Jac: It’s a very simple argument. We all get along when one person isn’t here *gestures towards Devyn* and when that person arrives all hell breaks loose. It’s why I said I wasn’t going to around her and to be honest that feeling still stands *shrugs and gets up* Pat, do you want to come? Tyler, Leah, you two can join us as well.
Tyler: *sighs* See this is so catty. I just landed and you hoes are already hanging each other by the ears
Devyn: Exactly Tyler. I’m not interested in going anywhere with anyone who continues to make me the topic of their insults.
Leah: I’m pretty tired, but you girls have fun
Tyler: Oh girls, is the house nice? I came straight here
Jac: *to Tyler* Catty? Are you serious Tyler? She fucking chases me out of a club, refuses to acknowledge her poor behavior, and then is trying to be exclusionary on a trip she was barely invited on. *raises voice* ARE YOU SERIOUS TYLER? SHE’S A FUCKING CUNT
Leah Confessional: Jac and Pat are trying to take over leading this trip and I won’t allow it. If they want to venture off into Spain, more power to them
Tyler: *mouth drops* Girl, but that’s one side of the story. What the FUCK HAPPENED TO HER?
Jac: You know what I’m not doing this *walks off the boat and down the dock*
Jac Confessional: I said I didn’t want to be around Devyn and there is a very specific reason for it. She brings out this side of me. It’s ugly and I don’t like who I become when I’m near her. Let her stay over there by herself and we’ll all be fine
Tyler: Well welcome to Spain, Tyler. *laughs*
As the women begin making their back towards the villa, the scene shifts to the following morning, where we see the Ladies on the bus, heading towards a lagoon for breakfast. They arrive and say hello to their young instructor as the scene begins…
Pat Confessional: Last night was a fucking blast. Jac brought me and Joshuaa to an awesome place and we danced the night away. *flashback to Pat making out with a hottie on the dance floor* More of that please!
Leah: Ladies, this is Javier. He’s gonna be escorting us through the lagoon where we’re having breakfast
Tyler: Oh hello Javier!! How old are you!
Javier: I’m 25
Pat: Ty girl, you like a cat in heat *laughs*
Javier: Everyone is so beautiful
Jac: Mid 20s. Tyler girl, he’s a little too old
Pat: So what’s the plans for this trip, Leah, like what’s on the itinerary?
Jac: *laughs whilst walking with Pat and sipping a bloody mary* Girl I think I’m still drunk
Pat: *whispers to Jac* Girl I’m wasted *giggles*
Jac: Apparently we’re going to some lagoon to see some fish or something. I don’t know. As long as there is a bar at the other end, I’m good to go
Leah: We’re going to soak in the culture of Spain, Pat.
Pat: So ladies I have something to celebrate! My book landed number 1 for the second week in a row! Let’s cheers to that!
Leah: Oh how cute
Tyler: Congrats Pat, writing a book isn’t easy. Jac’s a writing star and I’ve taken a swing in the field
Pat: I’m almost catching up to Jac!
Tyler: Jac, how long was your first at number 1?
Pat: It’s been awesome to have some of your support. Means a lot
Jac: Between the two books? Hmmm I was on top for like 8 or 9 weeks
Devyn: Pat, your book is extraordinary.
Tyler: No no no, just the first though! Just for a fun little comparison *laughs*
Joshuaa: Lord knows you sold your soul for it, Jac.
Tyler Confessional: Shady bitch moment? Maybe so *laughs* But they all wanted to know too.
Jac: But I mean look at our girl Pat! How fabulous! Two weeks out and two weeks on top. We love a literary legend *raises glass and winks at Pat*
Pat: We have two very different books and both of us have been extremely successful at it. We should be lifting each other up
Joshuaa: Y’all did great with ghostwriters.
Pat: So…Tyler and Joshuaa…
Tyler: So Pat?
Pat: Let’s get you guys back on track
Tyler: I just don’t think WE are interested at this point
Pat: Never say never!
Joshuaa: In all honesty, I’m not. But thank you, Pat. Next?
Tyler: I told you at that meeting that I wanted to get back to that one day. You called me a stuck up bitch in response, so that it what it is. The cows have come home, the fat lady is singing, kill this one.
Pat: I just feel like you guys can be awesome as a duo. You two are strong individuals. Both speak your mind and above all take accountability when it’s time too.
Tyler: Oh I love Joshuaa. I think he’s accomplished a lot and I’ve enjoyed watching him grow over the past ten years
Pat: Aww see Joshuaa, that’s so nice.
Tyler: But it’s just stagnant and I don’t think it can be fixed.
Pat: Now Joshuaa, you say something nice about Tyler
Tyler: I’m a stuck up bitch, I bet that’s the nicest one *laughs* I am though *flips hair*
Joshuaa: Tyler, Whatever you say is old news, fake news, boring news, it’s gross and irreparable. I’m over you and that’s that, next?
Tyler: *laughs and claps his hands* See! Stuck up bitch was the nicest thing. *laughs*
Pat: No negativity Joshuaa! We’re gonna be nice today!
Joshuaa: I’m over her.
Pat: Well…let’s play a game then, everyone can go around and say one nice thing about everyone else. Ty, since you spoke first, why don’t you do the rest of us?
Tyler: *laughs* I’ll play! Let’s see…well Leah is so caring. Pat, I think you’ve grown up in the time I’ve known you and that’s amazing. Jac, the success that you’ve had is shockingly commendable. And Devyn…you stole my ex husband *laughs* No, I’m kidding, Devyn and I have come a long way and I admire her loyalty to those she cares about.
Tyler Confessional: As she likes to say…are we finally true Eskimo Sisters? *laughs*
Joshuaa: Next? I know most of y’all have an issue with me.
Tyler: Oh my God, you are so fucking rude, can you shut up?
Joshuaa: So I want to let you know that I don’t fucking care.
Tyler: I literally complimented you and you’re so into you’re fucking self that you are acting like a god damn bitch
Joshuaa: Tyler, stop addressing me, I’m done.
Tyler: I can speak to who I want and if you don’t like it, get up and walk off the fucking table like last night.
Pat: JOSHUAA, STOP! I’m going next. Tyler, you are a great mom! Jac, you are a bad ass writer and so outgoing. Leah, you have great taste and you can work any runway. Joshuaa, you are a great business woman! Devyn you are the most generous person I know.
Devyn: Ohh, it’s my turn now. Tyler, you’re loyal and successful; Leah, you’re gorgeous and such a great mom; Pat, you are funny and a great writer; Jac…well you have a nice smile; and Joshuaa, you have beautiful kids.
The ladies then continue with their nice thoughts on the others. Leah goes, forgetting to mention Pat, as Pat sits quietly and says nothing. Jac then goes, excluding Devyn, who also says little. Joshuaa then goes, mentioning Tyler’s affair in the process, as the ladies are shocked…
Tyler: I did have an affair, you’re right. Congratulations. *claps* As I recall, so did your first husband.
Joshuaa: SO HE DID! And thank God for it!
Tyler: And thank God for mine
Joshuaa: Exactly, how else would you pay for everything now?
Tyler: Yeah, the federal pen is really where my paychecks come from.
Jac: Well Ty, your affair resulted in your new husband being incarcerated…so are you really that thankful for it?
Tyler: My husband isn’t in jail because of me, but thank you Jac. My husband is in jail for a crime he was convicted of, not prison by reality TV.
Joshuaa: Married to a fraud, you’re a fraud bitch!
Jac: *laughs* Prison Wives honey
Tyler: That’s right. Big frauds *claps*
Devyn: *stands up* I just want to get away. I get tired of being around negative energy all the time.
Pat: Well I was trying to make it positive…
Just then, Javier nervously approaches the group and tells them that their time at the lagoon has ended as the scene and episode end…
Next time on Ladies of Twitter…the Ladies embark on activities in pairs. Jac and Tyler’s conversation goes wrong, leaving Tyler alone on the beach. Pat and Devyn continue to try and repair their rocky friendship. Leah attempts to help Joshuaa fix his relationships among the women. The Ladies discover that Nina has left Spain…along with a big secret.