Jan 13, 2021
Season 12, Episode 6: Two Hosts, One Manor
As the episode begins, we hear an upbeat tune as we see shots of the women waking up and starting their days, as they prepare to depart from the Winery for Aspen’s family estate. The cameras show the women putting their makeup on, some still lying in bed as the episode begins. The camera first focuses in on Pat, in her room with Joe, as she begins fixing her hair….
Pat’s Confessional: Last night was a mess! I’m tired and don’t remember much…I drank too much wine.
Joe: Good Morning, how are you feeling?
Pat: Fine, what happened last night? The girls were texting me this morning to make sure I was okay.
Joe: You were mad at me for talking to my worker. I had to walk away from the table to take a call…
Pat: Oh! wow I’m sorry. I guess the wine just hit me *Laughs*
Joe: Yeah, and some of your friends were fighting.
Pat: *reads text* Whatever Joe. We are leaving today. Uhm, did you push me?
Joe: No. Who said that?
Pat: Aspen just texted me and said you put your hands on me?
Joe: Babe, these girls are liars. They surround themselves with Joshuaa, and become liars.
Pat: I don’t wanna talk about Joshuaa. Hopefully I don’t have to see her for a bit. *Pat walks to Joe and kisses him* Thank you for always having my back!
The scene then transitions as cameras focus in on Luciana and Joshuaa in Luciana’s bedroom…
Joshuaa: *hands Luciana a coffee* here honey
Luciana: *opens eyes* What the heck? Why are you in my king bed?! Where are my clothes? *laughs*
Joshuaa: *laughs* We slept naked together for some reason. We drank so much
Joshuaa’s Confessional: So, I wake up naked in bed with Luci spooning me as I was spooning a bottle of wine…. safe to say it was an eventful evening
Luciana’s Confessional: I know the feeling of waking up after a bang session. I’m not feeling that feeling so I think we’re good!
Luciana: What a night though!
Joshuaa: I mean, I’m over the drama. Let’s just have fun! *laughs* Now get dressed, our car is here.
Luciana: Same, I want to check on Pat after everything with Joe.
The cameras then shift yet again, as we see Charlotte and Aspen beginning to pack for the next few days of their trip…
Charlotte: *grabs mine and Aspen’s breakfast* Aspen! The cars are here, wipe thoroughly so we can beat these girls to the country manor.
Aspen: *Aspen exits the restroom* Blueberry muffins from Costco how generic!
Charlotte: But it’ll do the job, I have some margarine to spread for extra taste
Aspen: *pops pills and starts packing* So you ready for another few days with these bitches.
Charlotte: Do you think we should have a self-defense class at the manor so Pat can learn how to slap Joe?
Aspen: *gasp* Charlotte!
Charlotte’s Confessional: I take back what I said last year. Joe is an ABUSIVE asshole, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I’m sure he was gaslighting her.
Aspen: But really that was embarrassing on both parts. Pat for allowing herself and Joe for touching a lady like that. Strange.
Charlotte: My husband may be sleeping around but one thing for certain, he won’t give me a black eye and then telling me I ran into a wall
Aspen: *shakes head* STOP! So how is Roman after this trip? Was it a much-needed getaway?
Charlotte: It was, he tried to have sex but I just handed him some lotion. *laughs*
Aspen: *checks watch* Oh girl, we better hurry and get to the car, I can’t be having these ladies in my family home before me.
Later That Afternoon…
As we see Aspen and Charlotte race to their car, the scene transitions to all five Ladies travelling towards Aspen’s countryside estate. Just then, the three cars taking the Ladies’ transitions as they arrive to shots of Aspen’s vast countryside estate. We see shots of staff helping carry in all the Ladies’ suitcases. The scene then transitions to later in the day as we see the Ladies, now settled. Then, the camera shifts as we see Joshuaa, Charlotte, and Luciana entering a grocery store in the nearby town.
Joshuaa: GIRLS! Let’s make sure we have some wine!
Luciana: Yes! Lots of vinooooo!
Charlotte: Is that Italian for wine?
Luciana: Yes hun!
Charlotte: Apologies for my ignorance about foreign language *laughs*
Joshuaa: Let’s just get a mixture of foods, Aspen always has such pretentious food.
Luciana: Yes! I need some meat and cheese.
Charlotte: How about we make some lasagna? It smelled SO divine at your restaurant, Luciana.
Luciana’s Confessional: Seriously, that girl just needs some chicken fingers
Luciana: Oh my! Thank you!
Joshuaa: Yes, let’s cook dinner…and by that I mean Luci, you cook *laughs*
Joshuaa’s Confessional: I just wanna eat good food, I’m HUNGRY
Charlotte: Luci, you cook?
Luciana: Well, I don’t want to impose but give me a kitchen and I’m good with cooking anything
Charlotte’s Confessional: My children have a private chef for their meals. Charlotte Burton doesn’t do domestic, she’s a business icon
Luciana: Of course, I cook, Charlotte! You think I just own a restaurant?
Charlotte: I hope you don’t mind making two extra plates
Luciana: Who is coming?
Joshuaa: Kylee and Nate are coming. Y’all I don’t know how I feel about them joining us
Charlotte: Me neither, I have issues with both of them
Luciana: Nate? I didn’t realize he was coming…
Joshuaa: Nate is someone I thought had changed, and I’m sorry I even brought her back into this.
Charlotte: I’m eager to meet her.
Joshuaa: She’s got a lot to say it seems, and with Kylee in her ear…
Charlotte: Well, Kylee doesn’t want me to tell what’s been put in my ear about her
Luciana: Fill us in!
Charlotte: *smiles* Let’s just say, Kylee doesn’t want it all coming out. *shrugs* Take from that what you will
Luciana: Well, this will be fun later…
Charlotte: At least we’ll have a good meal to go with it
Joshuaa: And wine
Charlotte: Cheers to that *laughs*
As the Ladies are finishing up shopping, the camera shifts, as we see Nate and Kylee en route to Aspen’s family estate. We see the two having a drink in the backseat and laughing as the scene begins.
Nate’s Confessional: So, I got an invite to Aspens home in the country, and I’m not really nervous because me and Pat seem to be somewhat cool now, me and Joshuaa are ok, and I’m really loving Kylee! I know that crazy heifer Luciana will be there, but I can just phase her out. No biggie. I’ll finally get to meet this girl Charlotte they’ve all been chatting about *rolls eyes*
Nate: So, girl, I need a recap? What am a walking into here? *laughs*
Kylee: *pouring glasses of champagne* Thank God I got an SUV, and not a town car. *laughs* But basically, I don’t like Joshuaa, Charlotte & kind of Aspen, but Aspen still invited me so I don’t know where we stand. She was SUPER BUDDY BUDDY with Charlotte when I first met her and obviously me and Charlotte don’t get along so *shrugs*
Nate: To be honest, I never really spoke to Aspen the day we met at the Halloween party, but she seemed a little shallow, and well, blah. I don’t know Charlotte at all, but as we know, I’ve heard stuff…and Joshuaa, well, we all know that too *laughs* Should I be ready for shit hitting the fan of any sort?
Kylee: I haven’t spoken to Aspen either, but I get a very negative vibe from her so probably. I haven’t seen Joshuaa since he got in my face at Pat’s party, or Charlotte since brunch with her and Aspen a little while ago and from what I’ve heard she’s been making it known she doesn’t like about me.
Nate: Yikes, well, let the games begin, I guess. What is with some of these women? Do they just like to hear themselves talk? But obviously not to each other’s faces *rolls eyes*
Kylee’s Confessional: One of my neighbors happens to work for Charlotte and let me just say, I’ve heard from some others in the neighborhood that apparently, she has been talking shit about me in every salon, café, store, geriatric convention, you name it, they’ve said things about me there.
Kylee: Oh, every one of these women except for probably Pat & Luci is two faced I promise.
Nate’s Confessional: Look, I’m not one to talk about gossiping, but this Charlotte seems like an A one Asshole
Nate: Luciana, may not be two faced, but idk if that’s a good thing *laughs*
Kylee: *laughs* Let’s hope for a relaxing vacation, and expect a terrific nightmare *raises glass*
Nate: Cheers to that darling *raises glass*
As the two get close to the estate, the scene shifts as we see Pat and Aspen standing in the kitchen and chatting while Aspen’s staff is beginning to prepare food for all of Ladies. We see Aspen sampling some of the chef’s creations and walking back to Pat as the scene begins.
Aspen: So how was your ride over here?
Pat: Honestly, beautiful! I love this area.
Aspen: Right! Have you ever thought about buying a home here? It’s a great investment. Luciana lives a few blocks over I believe.
Pat: Well since I’ve known Luci, anytime I’ve come up here, I stay with her. I feel like she would be mad if I bought a place here. This is her land *laughs*
Aspen: *laughs* Her land? My family has been her for generations. If anything, this is my turf! Shall we set up on the patio it’s a before afternoon?
Pat’s Confessional: Uh oh, I feel a turf war brewing! *laughs*
Pat: Let’s do it! *starts setting up with Aspen* By the way, did you have fun at the winery?
Aspen: *setting down silverware* I did very much so! I loved the home and it was interesting to see what Joe does there, thank you for inviting Thomas and I. He really enjoyed it and he had a great time with Joe.
Pat: Yeah! Joe really likes Tom. Which by the way, Joe said he didn’t push me or whatever. *giggles* Did he??
Aspen: Well… *sighs* it looks a little rough if you ask me. You did stumble back a bit but that could’ve been due to the uneven cement or your heels I don’t know.
Pat: *nervously laughs* Girl, I was wasted!
Aspen: We all were!
Pat’s Confessional: I don’t know if Joe actually put his hands on me but I trust him to tell me the truth. I’m just excited to have yet another fun getaway with the girls
Just then, the camera shifts as we see Nate and Kylee arrive at the home. They walk up the steps and ring the doorbell as the scene continues. Randal the butler opens the door and leads the ladies to the patio where Aspen and Pat are chatting.
Randal (Aspen’s Butler): Madam Sinclair, your guests have arrived.
Aspen: Thank you Randal, go bring a bottle of wine from the cellar. Thanks! *to the ladies* Welcome!!!!
Nate’s Confessional: This bitch think she’s a Queen of something?
Kylee: Hi. *hands her a bag* I brought you wine.
Pat: *sees Kylee and Nate* Girls!!! *hugs both* I missed you both this weekend!
Nate: Hello hello, my new friends and enemies *laughs*
Aspen: I hope it isn’t from Costco! *flashback to the muffins this morning at breakfast* I’m kidding thank you Kylee!
Aspen’s Confessional: I love Costco don’t get me wrong. I shop there all the time. Well my house manager doesn’t not me. *flips hair*
Kylee: No no, *laughs* and of course, Aspen. Thank you for having us. *smiles*
Pat: Kylee, girl you missed so much from the winery.
Aspen: *sits back down* Can we talk about the never-ending sob story that is Joshuaa? Like I don’t get it.
Pat: Joshuaa was on some other shit! GIRL, IM OVER IT! The fucking woah is me bullshit.
Kylee: *laughs* She’s so pathetic
Nate: Oh really? What he do? He and I aren’t like “pals” we are cordial-ish.
Pat: So, get this, girls. *to Kylee and Nate* I forget to send a text to Joshuaa letting her know it was a couples’ trip. Next thing I know she’s losing her shit. Yelling at producers, screaming at the cameras. Like, she’s so low class
Aspen: The behavior is very embarrassing.
Nate: Typical to say the least…it’s always gotta be about him
Kylee: *laughs* That’s so trashy, but I expect nothing less from the Lime.
Pat: The Lemon! We no longer refer to it as a Lime
Aspen: Thomas felt bad for her but I told him we won’t be doing that.
Nate: I’m sure we’ll chat soon and she’ll give me her side. Pat, is that girl Charlotte here as well?
Pat: No, not right now. But I am kind of over her ass too *laughs*
Aspen: Joshuaa, Luciana, and Charlotte are at the grocery store. I don’t know for what, my home is fully stocked. *laughs*
Nate: I haven’t met her yet Pat, but I hear she’s NUTS!
Aspen: *quickly changes the subject* Anyway, thank you two for being here this weekend. Kylee and Nate, you two will be sharing a room in the lower level. There are 2 queen beds down there and a restroom and kitchenette area. You’ll love it.
Kylee: Fine by me.
Nate: *confused face* Huh? The lower level?
Aspen: *yells for Randal* Show the ladies got here suite downstairs please and make sure all their luggage is taken down. Thanks! *smiles and raises glass* Cheers to our girls’ trip!
As the scene shifts, we see the afternoon continuing as the women do things around the estate. Just then, Joshuaa comes back in from shopping with Luciana and Charlotte, and hears that Nate has arrived. Joshuaa then walks down the stairs and knocks on Nate’s door as the scene begins.
Joshuaa: Hi Nate, it’s nice to see you.
Nate: Oh, hello love, what’s up?
Joshuaa: How are you? Long time, no see.
Nate: I’m great, loving being around these fabulous girls *laughs*
Joshuaa: That’s good
Nate: You seem a little stressed, you good?
Joshuaa: No, I’m just a bit hungover. *laughs* These girls are crazy; you’ll find that out.
Nate: Oh *laughs* I can’t wait to get a proper drink I’m not gonna lie
Joshuaa: Although, I hear you’ve got some things to say about me. So, I’m just checking in and see what’s up
Joshuaa’s Confessional: Nate ain’t changed sis. I wanted to start fresh but if he wants to bring up the past constantly, let’s do it
Nate: *confused face* Oh okay…care to elaborate?
Joshuaa: I mean I’d like you to. Are we good or not? That’s what I want to know
Nate: Well, you approached me so it’s only appropriate darling. As far as I’m aware, yes. Can we stop talking in code? What is it that you’re clearly pissed about?
Nate’s Confessional: Joshuaa is so passive aggressive and he’s never direct…it’s exhausting to have a grown conversation
Joshuaa: I’m not pissed, I just hear you haven’t been kind about me. I’ll be pissed in a bit if you don’t just tell me if we have an issue or not
Nate: Okay look, if you aren’t gonna tell me what you’ve supposedly been hearing then you can go, because honestly, it’s going nowhere.
Joshuaa: Okay I’ll take that as a yes. Cool, see you at dinner *leaves room*
Nate’s Confessional: Why the hell is she coming to me and not telling me what I’ve apparently said, and what his goddamn issue is? It’s so fucking weird.
Later That Evening…
As the scene shifts, we see the women beginning to get ready for their first dinner at Aspen’s home. We see shots of them walking down the stairs, dramatically making their way to the formal dining room of the home. While the Ladies take their seats, we see Randal, Aspen’s butler serving each Lady a glass of champagne as the scene begins.
Aspen: Thank you Randal, excuse yourself, please… *clinks glass* Ladies, come in, come in, sit wherever.
Luciana: *walks in with platers and platers of food* Oh my… Aspen! I brought a lot of food!
Joshuaa: Luci made a lasagna! Put it over there hun, I’m sure they’ll make space
Aspen: *stands at the head of the table* Oh Luci, put those in the cook’s kitchen, he’ll put them in the leftover fridge later.
Joshuaa’s Confessional: We need some actual nice food up in here
Kylee: Oh, Luci’s catering? Thank god. *sips champagne*
Joshuaa: Yeah, I want Luci’s food
Pat: Her name is Luciana, Joshuaa *laughs*
Joshuaa: I call her Luci, Pat.
Pat’s Confessional: Hearing Lemon call my friend by her nickname is making me sick. Why is she even here?
Luciana: Sorry Aspen! A bunch of ladies asked me to bring food that was more…not as high class. *laughs*
Luciana’s Confessional: The girls wanted to eat foods that they can pronounce.
Joshuaa: We just want some food that will fill us up, girl.
Aspen: Whatever, Randal will serve it accordingly or you can put and apron on and serve if you like. *raises voice* ANYWAYS, have a seat please. I have a toast.
Luciana: Aspen, isn’t it great how close we live!? You know me! I’ll get right in there with Randal. No such thing as the help at my house. We all pitch in.
Pat: Luci, you and Aspen have a bit of a turf war here! *laughs*
Aspen: Thank you all for being here these next few days! It means a lot that I have you all here… well, some of you. *laughs* Let’s make it another great trip!
Nate: Aspen girl, you love a suspicious announcement *laughs*
Charlotte: Cheers!
Luciana: *stands up* My turn for a toast, ladies!
Aspen’s Confessional: What the fuck is going on here? AM I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE? LIKE, LUCIANA IS LIKE MY CRAZY DRUNK AUNT MILDRED!
Luciana: Thank you all for joining myself and Aspen on this trip! I can’t wait to show you my house later, and I hope you all enjoy all the food! It’s been catered by yours truly!
Joshuaa: It’s delicious, Lulu!
Pat: Cheers! Is everyone making toasts?
Luciana: No, just the hosts, Pat.
Aspen: *leans over to Luciana* Don’t do that again, please. It’s classless.
Pat: I love it Luci!
Luciana: *leans over to Aspen and whispers* Sharing is caring. Cheers!
Pat: Ladies, since everyone is in a great mood. Let’s play a game!
Charlotte: What’s the game?
Pat: So, the game is to use one word to describe each person at the table.
Nate’s Confessional: This dinner is so fucking weird! They all hate each other *laughs*
Pat: I’ll go first! Luci is iconic! Aspen is adorable. Kylee is my bestie. Nate is blonde! Charlotte is feisty. And Joshuaa is…hmm…a Lady.
Aspen: Hmm, perfect word! Lady of night, lady of the streets, lady of limes. *laughs*
Kylee: Who’s next?
Pat’s Confessional: I couldn’t think of a word for the heifer! *laughs*
Charlotte: I’ll go next! Joshuaa is refined. Luci is caring. Aspen is my sister. Nate is…uhm, irrelevant. Kylee is a harlot. And Pat is battered, I guess? Cheers!
Pat: Battered? Like a biscuit, sure.
Kylee: I’m a harlot? You sure about that?
Charlotte: Sure…like a biscuit.
Luciana: Alright girls, my turn! Pat is a boss. Joshuaa is surprising. Charlotte is mysterious. Kylee is loyal. And Aspen is my neighbor. *looks around the group and at Nate* I think that’s everyone!
Pat: Aww Luci, I love you. Okay, who next?
Aspen: I’m next!!!!! Charlotte is beautiful. Patrick is masculine. Luciana is helpful. Nate is Nate. Joshuaa is a yawn. And Kylee is a follower.
Pat: MASCULINE? YOU WHORE! *laughs*
Aspen: It’s the face for me Pat. I’m sorry bitch! *laughs*
Joshuaa: I’ll go! Aspen’s pretentious. Luciana’s gorgeous. Pat is lost. Charlotte is strong. Kylee is a liar. And Nate is a phony.
Kylee: *yawns* Does ANYBODY else want to throw a dig at me before I address everybody who did?
Aspen: Slurring your word already.
Pat: *laughs* Oh Joshuaa…
Joshuaa: I think you’re a lost soul
Pat: And I think you’re a bad mother so there.
Luciana: PAT!
Joshuaa: You wouldn’t know anything about me as a mother! So, I’d tread very lightly.
Pat: You’re right, since your children are never around you
Joshuaa: Those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. So, shut your mouth!
Pat: This house is made of brick sis.
Luciana: PAT! Just stop. Have some lasagna!
Kylee: So funny you mention that line Joshuaa. *points at Charlotte* How’s your glass house hm?
Joshuaa: Oh Kylee, give it a rest
Kylee: Clearly you do
Aspen: Kylee, why don’t you just stop? Give it up! Get your head out of Pats ass and be yourself! ENOUGH!
Charlotte: Now you REALLY shouldn’t talk of glass houses, Kylee.
Nate: Joshuaa, you seem a little tense, take a drink sweetie
Kylee’s Confessional: I’m seeing red. That’s all I’m seeing. And every one of these girls will end up on the floor I’m serious.
Joshuaa: Nate, you’re irrelevant here just leave me alone.
Pat’s Confessional: I’m either drunk or everyone seems to be talking at the same time and I have no clue who they are all yelling at..
Aspen’s Confessional: I really am like feeling all the alcohol right now and the peanut gallery isn’t helping either I should go to bed already.
Luciana: *walks back to dining room* GIRLS! We have pasta! Let’s eat! Less fighting! Aspen and I put so much work into this trip!
Nate: Joshuaa, honestly, what is the issue? Because I really didn’t have a problem with you until you called me a phony?
Just then, the camera pans to Aspen running out of the room and into the bathroom as audio can be heard of Aspen throwing up in toilet. The camera then shifts back to the dining room where chaos is unfolding.
Kylee: Charlotte, you really should shut the fuck up about me and my healthy marriage when your husband AND APPARENTLY YOU AS WELL step out all the fucking time. TALK ABOUT THAT! *picks up champagne glass and storms out of the room*
Charlotte: Keep lying sweetie, I have the real receipts! *makes yawning motion and waves goodbye to Kylee* Night love.
Luciana: *claps* I am the host! Everyone, calm down!
As Luciana attempts to calm the group down, the cameras shift out to a shot of the estate as ominous music plays and the screen fades to black.
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