Season 14, Episode 7: “How ‘Bout Them Apples”

As the episode begins and the title card fades from the screen, we see the cameras return to Grace’s patio in the Hamptons, where Elle has just walked inside after arguing with some of the Ladies. The camera then pans back to the Ladies remaining at the table, as well as Dakota Williams, as the scene resumes…

Erica: Well then, I guess she’s disengaging! *laughs*

Grace: Erm, so Dakota, I’ll talk to you over here if you would still like to chat.

Dakota: Yes, let’s chat!

Grace: *walks across the patio with Dakota and sits* So, I hear you have a problem? I’d love to know. I’ve never thought we had an issue?

Dakota: I want you to know first off that I haven’t come here to ruin the trip, or uh take the fun out of it

Grace: Well, why not message me? Why arrive like that?

Dakota: But in journalism, when you accuse someone of selling a story which is what Kathy has told me you’re accusing me of. I was invited by Kathy, I thought you knew that

Grace: That doesn’t matter anyway, you’re welcome to stay. If you do a piece on my business… *pauses and laughs* No, Kathy is being Kathy and trying to get a rise out of me.

Dakota: What are you saying that if I don’t do a story on your business I can’t stay? *laughs*

Grace: What I said was that I saw you talking about her and I on your show and I said I guess Kathy is telling you all the gossip. I’m joking about the story! I messaged you recently asking to come on your show after you were asking me what happened with Kathy? Remember?

Dakota: Oh okay… *laughs* Well, the way you’re describing it is not how it came to me. You did, and scheduling hasn’t worked out. What’s the big deal?

Grace: So, we’re good. Talk to your friend about how she uses her own despair to try to make others feel bad. Just don’t come for me like that and turn up to my house.

Dakota: That’s not nice

Grace: Like, I’ve done you no wrong because I’ve been nothing but nice to you.

Dakota: Grace, I will do whatever the fuck I please, and you have talked about me.

Grace: *stands up* And on that, please enjoy the pasta salad! *walks away* We’re not on your show now, baby! You’re in my house now. You run with dogs you’ll get fleas!

Dakota: Walking away from problems, ha, what a joke!

Grace: I’m not walking away! I’m just getting my keys. What else is there to say, Dakota? *returns to the patio table*

Kathy: *looks at Grace* What just happened here? I thought you two were making up!

Grace: We’re good. I explained your mess, Kathy, as per usual. It’s fine.

Kathy: *rolls eyes at Grace* Thanks, I guess?

Grace: No problem. WELCOME TO THE HAMPTONS!

Dakota: *walks back to the table* Whatever, I just don’t understand why she’s being so rude.

Kathy: That’s typical Grace. If you are going to hang with this group, get ready for it!

As the Ladies and Dakota begin to depart from the lunch table, we see the camera shift as an upbeat tone plays and we return to Twitter. There, we see Luciana entering a store in Twitter’s shopping district. We then see Maria strut in behind her as the scene begins…

Luciana’s Confessional: I need some retail therapy, so today Maria and I are hitting up the shops!

Luciana: Let’s go check out this handbag store.

Maria (Luciana’s Sister): What is new my chickadee?

Luciana: Oh, just the usual…another day, more drama.

Maria: What’s going on with Amal? Did she pop?

Luciana: She sure did. She lost about half her body weight already! A whole five pounds down!

Maria: This is why she hates you. Stop making fun of larger females. *Maria adjusts her boobs*

Luciana: Oh, we made up, she forgave me even after I apparently was screaming at her until her water broke!

Maria: Holy Tidal wave… *pauses* So, I’ve been meaning to ask you…what’s up with that chick Erika?

Luciana: Nothing really. She’s very quiet.

Maria: Well, remember when you told me people we questioning if you were drinking the other night? Well, Erika was sub tweeting you…

Luciana: WHAT! I had no idea…you think it’s about me?

As the Ladies are discussing the tweets, Erica’s tweets flash across the screen…

Maria: Did Grace defend you?

Luciana: GRACE…she didn’t invite me to New York but invited everyone else… I’m beyond DONE. That’s where the girls are NOW! *shakes her head*

Maria: Maybe you guys will make amends? Ya did it with Amal.

Luciana: NAH, I’m good!

As Maria laughs along with Luciana, we see them continuing to shop as the scene shifts to the following day, in New York. We see the Ladies waking up, before getting into two SUVs, to depart for some activities. We hear upbeat music as the camera focuses in on the fashion district of New York, where we see Kathy and Elle getting out of an SUV followed by Dakota…

Kathy’s Confessional: Today, I have arranged for Dakota, Elle, and myself to go privately look at designers’ fashions. I know we will stop by Versace first since I have special connections with the Versace family! Plus, I have got to get a better understanding of what Elle thinks about what transpired with Devyn and Erica yesterday and Dakota’s thoughts on her talk with Grace. We are definitely making the most of this trip!

Elle’s Confessional: Since yesterday’s lunch didn’t go so well, I haven’t seen or spoken with Devyn or Erica. Grace however was kind enough to send breakfast up to my room this morning so that made things a bit easier. Kathy’s arranged for a shopping day for me and Dakota and I’m so thankful it’s just us three because I have time to decompress and relax.

Dakota: Hey girlies! *comes out with all her bags* I heard we’re shopping, so I brought all of my purses to put stuff in.

Elle: *laughs* Dakota came prepared, all I brought was this tiny handbag.

Kathy: I got just my Louis!!

Elle: We all have our credit cards though, right ladies?

Kathy: Yes, and mine is paid off! I know some of these ladies have a hefty bill on their Amex card!

Dakota: Oh, of course Elle, I’m spending as much as I possibly can on this shopping day

Kathy: I think we should go into Versace. I got it arranged for them to close the shop just for us!

We then see the three of them walking down the street and into a beautiful Versace as elegant music plays…

Kathy: *walks into Versace* Come on ladies, my friend Matt shut the place down for us, so we could discuss the fashion and quality of the material!

Elle: Perfect! I love the leather!

Kathy: So, Dakota, I have to ask, what made you take a chance on giving us a show?

Dakota: Well, I’m always looking for new ways to grow the Dakota brand, and when you came to me with your idea. I thought it was perfect

Kathy: Well, I appreciate you taking a chance on two girls from Twitter! I am looking forward to showcasing a different side of Kathy to the world!

Dakota: Oh, absolutely honey, I’m excited for everyone to see what we’ve been working on. They’re going to love it! Can I ask you two something?

Elle: *looking through clothes* Of course Dakota!

Dakota: *sees a cute outfit* This is so gorgeous; I need to get this! Oh, I’m sorry, what was I saying girls?

Elle: You were going to ask us something!

Dakota: Oh yes! I was going to ask if I should go to my place when we’re done here, it seems like Grace doesn’t want me on the trip which is fine. But would it be easier for everyone if I left?

Elle: I think it was the initial shock for her, it’s totally your decision but I don’t think you should leave so soon!

Kathy: I definitely don’t see why you would leave! Grace is just Grace. She has a rough exterior, but I am starting to see a kinder interior to her. So, do not give up so soon.

Dakota: Okay, I’ll stay then for now. I do want to patch things up with her though, even if she’s being incredibly rude

Kathy: It may take a year or two *laughs* We can speak from experience

Elle: True!

Dakota: *laughs* I just want to get my story straight that she did accuse you of selling stories to me.

Elle: Oh, she’ll never admit that. Take it from me, she says things she’d never actually admit to.

Kathy: Yeah, good luck getting her to admit that! It will bite her in the ass when this all airs!

Elle: *laughs* Cheers to that.

Kathy: I mean has she ever admitted what she really did to you Elle did she?

Elle: She apologized for it, but still blames it on her daughter so. *shrugs* I let it go. Some people never admit their mistakes and that’s the only closure I’ll ever get.

Kathy: *calls out* Matt, can we get another bottle of that one?

Dakota: Ya know, I think I’m just gonna ignore her. That seems to be my best option

Kathy: I think that’s what we have agreed on. We are cordial. Elle, I was going to actually get your opinion on what happened yesterday with Erica and Devyn.

Elle: That was just a moment I’m sure it’ll blow over, and if not, let them eat cake. *shrugs* I really couldn’t care less; it doesn’t have anything to do with them and they don’t know Amal like that to defend her.

Kathy: I was just so shocked at their behavior towards us to the point where you threw a glass down. Now that’s not like my little sis! I was shocked

Dakota: I didn’t like that to be honest.

Elle: I agree that was out of character but if you’re going to provoke, provoke, provoke you’ll get a reaction.

Kathy’s Confessional: I have never seen Elle act like that, I know if Mariah had been there, she wouldn’t have done that and I know that for a fact!

Elle: So, call me déclassé, I’ll be déclassé.

Kathy: I didn’t like how they were pissed at us for not blindly supporting Amal especially after what all she’s done to both of us. I can say this for a fact if James spoke out against me, I know some of these ladies wouldn’t be right there to be by my side and that’s where the double standards come in.

Elle: Exactly Kath!!! There are double standards in this group, and now people want to be the morality police? I’m sure Erica hasn’t always been some angel.

Dakota: *gets a text* Shit!

Elle: What’s up D?!

Dakota: I just got a text that our studio space for FOF got rented by someone who offered to pay more.

Kathy: So, what does that mean for us?

Elle’s Confessional: What the heck are we going to do now?

Dakota: Oh, I’ll get it back, trust me. I’m Dakota Williams. I’m going to make a few calls, and do what I have to do, would you both excuse me? I’ll see you both later!

Kathy: Oh absolutely, we will just meet up with you at lunch in a bit! I got reservations for us three since everyone is doing their own thing today!

Elle: Kath, hang back for a second.

Kathy: Oh, I am, we still have some more shops to hit!

Dakota then tells both Ladies goodbye, before checking out and departing the store…

Kathy: Elle, so what’s going on with things at home? If I remember correctly things have been tense between you and Mariah?

Elle: She’s mad at me, and you, because I said Lili can go to Warsaw and you wrote the recommendation letter. *starts tearing up* She called me a “neglectful mother.”

Kathy: A NEGLECTFUL mother?!

Elle’s Confessional: Mariah Stonewood is brilliant, charitable and truly a great woman, but she’s also polarizing.

Kathy: No wonder my mom has been kind of distant with me! She’s probably looking at me sideways like Mariah is.

Elle: Yes. *starts crying* She said I’m “shipping my kid off so I don’t have to do the work to raise her” which is a horrible way to look at it! I thought what I was doing was furthering my daughter’s career, but not this. Never this.

Kathy’s Confessional: I could give two shits what Mariah Stonewood thinks about me. She’s a respected figure in Twitter, but one thing about manners she hasn’t learned is, you gotta give respect to get respect!

Kathy: Oh, for God’s sake. That was the school my mother sent me to when I was in high school! I luckily went on a scholarship, but Lili deserves a bright future and she will definitely get that at the Warsaw private school! *grabs a tissue* I don’t want to see that pretty face cry, here’s some tissue. It’s hard having mommy issues. I know all about it too well.

Elle: *drying my eyes* I don’t even know what to think anymore.

Kathy: You know you’re not a bad mother, right?

Elle: Am I a bad mom? Am I a good mom? Chris isn’t helping either because you know he can’t get between his mother and his wife. It’s hard to feel like I’m not when my own mother-in-law is saying I am.

Kathy: Is she the mother of your children? Only you can dictate what you do as a parent. Sure, advice is great, but if you think Warsaw is truly the best for her then I think you have a great intuition and wouldn’t let her do anything you don’t think would benefit her.

Elle: Thank you Kathy. You have no idea how much this means to me to hear someone back me up.

Kathy: You know I always got you! You have helped me out more than you know. *smiles*

Elle: How are things with you by the way?

Kathy: Not good. Really not good. I just feel like my life is falling apart. I can’t stop lashing out and cussing out of control at people. It’s really coming from a place of hurt.

Elle: Have you ever considered doing meditation? I do it every Sunday with my yogi on my patio if you’d like?

Kathy’s Confessional: *starts tearing up* My life isn’t in a good place and I know it’s not, but I feel like I don’t have the support of most of these ladies and that’s hard when you’re trying to heal, but you don’t have the support you need to heal.

Kathy: I think that’s a great start for sure. I went over to Erica’s for meditation and expressed my struggles with my mental health, and I am just so baffled by her coming for me and saying I need to be doing a better job healing and just support Amal. I think I need therapy if we are going to be honest here.

Elle: You should! I see my therapist once every two weeks, but we talk all the time. I was talking to him last night after that lunch. I’m so shocked by Erica and Devyn’s response! They barely know her, yet they defend her like she’s their sister, wait till she screws them over, they’ll see.

Kathy: A leopard never changes their spots. I can promise you that. Maybe motherhood will change her, that and her legal troubles…

Elle: Speaking of those, I got a call yesterday from my friend Irina, she knows Amal! And she didn’t have a lot of nice things to say about her! *pauses* She said the Hadid family is known for running a Ponzi scheme in Dubai, and that they’re losing money fast! Yes, they do own oil refineries that they make legal money from, but that they’re fronts for drug dens!

Kathy: *screeches* SHUT THE HELL UP!

Elle: As Grace says, “I’m just repeating what I heard.” All I know is Irina has known the Hadid’s a long time, so it’s not like the source is iffy!

Kathy: Well babe, get a camera and me there now. I need to meet your friend, Irina.

Elle: She’s back in Twitter we’ll have to get lunch with her when we get back! Speaking of which, aren’t we late for that lunch reservation? *laughs*

Kathy: God yes, let’s get going!

As both girls walk up to the checkout, the scene shifts to a spa in the Hamptons, where we see Erica and Devyn getting changed into robes as the scene begins…

Erica’s Confessional: If I knew that coming on this trip would result in drama caused by dumb and dumber, then I would have stayed my ass in Twitter. To get away from all the drama, Devyn & I are going to get some massages and try to make lemons out of lemonade from this shit show of a trip.

Devyn: *relaxing on massage table* We’re making enemies already! *laughs*

Erica: Girl, your friends something else! *laughs* The glass thrower almost found herself flying like a football, I had to collect myself.

Devyn: My friends? Chile, you’re the only friend I have, and maybe Amal. Well, if money can buy friendships, I have Grace too. Since I’ve hired her company to sell my house and to purchase a new one.

Erica: Wait, you’re selling the house? What’s making you sell?

Devyn: I’m just ready for more land, and to move out of the Twitter Hills. I think the kids will like the change.

Erica: You’re very rich bitch, I’m surprised you’re actually selling instead of making this yet another one of your homes *laughs*

Devyn: I’ve thought about keeping it. Who knows. Is your man back in town?

Erica: Sadly, no. I’ve been trying to you know find time to do things, but girl, it’s been hard. He’s a good backbone for me, and right now he’s just not here.

Devyn: What’s his deal?

Erica: Work. We talk daily, but it’s not the same as in person. Girl, his family don’t like me so they would care less about how the job is messing with our relationship. He comes back the day after we get back, so hopefully, we can just talk and he can just be there for me.

Devyn: Everything is fixable. I got you Erica. If you need me, I’m always here.

Erica’s Confessional: It’s been a hard time in Twitter, I’m kind of lonely outside of the group and my work. With everything going on in my life, I could use my man by my side.

Erica: Vice Versa, you know I got you girl. You saw how we handled Tweddle Dee and Tweddle Dumb. *laughs*

Devyn: Girl, I can’t believe these women talking about Amal’s life like that. *sits up* Speaking of, let’s call her on FaceTime, and fill her in with what happened earlier. I don’t want her blindsided.

Just then, the scene shifts as we see Amal at home in Twitter as her phone buzzes with a Facetime, she answers as the camera focuses in on the New York spa…

Amal: *answers the phone* Hello my Doctor Friend!!

Devyn: Hey Amal! Erica is here too. How are you?

Amal: E!!! I’m good girls! I’m still in so much pain! How about you gals?! How is the Big Apple?!

Devyn: We’re good. Chile, drama was hitting the fan the moment we got on the plane. The Big Apple is about to become applesauce with these women.
Erica: You are GLOWING, Amal girl!

Amal: Girl, that’s a mix of baby vomit and exhaustion *laughs*

Amal’s Confessional: As much as I love by beautiful boy, motherhood is hard. Everything I’m doing feels like it’s a temporary fix till the next problem.

Devyn: And how’s the little cutie doing?

Amal: Not Applesauce!!! My little man is good. Here, wait *turns camera on Jamie sleeping in his bassinet*

Erica: Aww, he’s so adorable!

Devyn: OMG! He’s so perfect. I love babies.

Erica: I just have to bring him some toys over

Amal: Aww, thank you girls! You’re both the sweetest!

Devyn: A, what’s going on with your estranged husband? That article dropped, and some ladies had a lot to say.

Amal: *rolls eyes* Let’s just say, it is something I’m dealing with right now on top of motherhood and everything else going on in my life. Long story short, extramarital affairs are a crime in United Arab Emirates and as I’m technically still married my husband is seeking to have me arrested in Abu Dhabi. He has also filed a lawsuit against me in Twitter. I haven’t even really had the chance to wrap my head around everything.

Devyn: You have more important things to worry about than these women, but be careful with Elle and Kathy. They were too eager to talk about your life when Dakota randomly showed up at Grace’s yesterday.

Erica: Girl, you told me he was crazy, but not THIS crazy.

Amal: It’s unfolding into a nightmare. I have no idea how it was leaked to the press, but since then it’s just been *shakes head* you know… *tries to stop myself from crying* I’ve been trying to not think about it. What did Kathy and Elle have to say?

Erica: Well, while we were all getting ready for lunch, Tweddle Dee & Dumb were discussing your issues and I recall them saying “this is karma” and that anybody supporting you is “blindly supporting.”

Amal: *eyes widen* Excuse me? They said that this is karma? Karma for what?

Devyn: Elle also accused me of blindly supporting you when I didn’t know how you treated her in the past.

Erica: Exactly, Elle went on and said how you basically tortured her last year so this is your karma.

Devyn: It was bitchy and very unlady like. Erica and I both had your back…

Amal: Is she really talking about something that happened 365 days ago? How many times must I apologize to that moron? And thank you both so much! You both are such great friends! I love you guys.

Devyn: *notices Amal getting upset* Hey A. Calm down. This isn’t important. Erica and I have your back. Focus on your healing and new baby joy.

Amal: No, no, you’re right *dabs tear* When are you guys back from NYC? I think all us girls should get together. If I’m such a topic of conversation, it might be time I address them

Erica: We will be home in a day or two, it’s just a weekend getaway, but if I’m being fairly honest with you ladies…I think Kathy is a fraud.

Devyn: We’d love to do that. In the meantime, you have a security guard available if you wish, I called in a favor from a friend who owns the security company. He’s yours as long as you are dealing with this mess with your husband.

Amal: *puts hand to chest* Thank you girls! I’ve got to run! My little man is up but I’ll see you guys soon. Real soon!

Erica: Love you girl! Be Safe! Text us if you need anything

Devyn: Bye Amal! *hangs up* Can we get some more massages in here? *laughs* I don’t want to go back to the others!

As the two continue their massages, the scene transitions to later in the day, with the Ladies having returned to the Hamptons for dinner. We see all the Ladies, with the exception of Devyn, plus Dakota walking onto a boat dock as the scene begins…

Grace’s Confessional: So, I’m back from my meeting in the city and I had my people organize a delicious dinner on my boat! It’s an intimate, delicious delight and I just want to end on a high and share my news!

Erica’s Confessional: After an explosive lunch, I don’t know how I feel about seeing Kathy & Elle again; however, I do have a lot to say so it’s truly time to put everything on the table and hopefully nothing flies off it.

Elle’s Confessional: After the other day’s lunch, I’m hesitant to be sitting down with all these women at dinner but after having a long talk with Kathy and Dakota, I’ve decided I shouldn’t be scared to voice my opinions. Despite what others might think or have to say about it, it’s cliché, but I am woman so hear me roar! *laughs*

The Ladies walk up onto the boat as the scene begins…

Grace: Welcome ladies! AHOY THERE! *laughs*

Elle: *looking around* This is BEAUTIFUL Grace thank you so much for having us!

Kathy: You ladies look gorgeous! Thank you, Grace, for setting up this lovely dinner!

Elle: Dakota, look at you! Dressed to the nines!

Grace: I’m not sure Devyn is joining us, she’s doing some business in my office

Grace’s Confessional: Hell, she’s avoiding this awkward situation!

Kathy: So, shall we get settled on board? Grace, is there a bar on the boat?

Dakota: Aren’t I always? *laughs* Elle, you look beautiful too girl!

Kathy: Great I need some one-on-one with Miss Erica anyways! You’re good without your sidekick, aren’t you, Erica?

Erica: *sighs* Yes, is there a bar, I could definitely use a drink. I have no sidekick love but you & yours can definitely have a conversation with me

Grace: So, how was everyone’s afternoons?

Dakota: Fun but stressful *laughs*

Kathy: Oh no babe. I’m good on my own! Elle can talk when she’s ready!

Elle: I’m nobody’s sidekick, anyways I had a lovely afternoon shopping!

Erica: Well, I’ll address the both of you since we’re all together *sits down in my chair*

Elle’s Confessional: Sidekick? What is this Batman? Please.

Grace: Erm. Already? Okay

Dakota: Can we get a drink first? Before this starts! *laughs*

Kathy: Sure, you can do that, but first let’s hear about graces meeting. I can tell she’s ready to talk!

Erica: *sips my water* Yes Grace, how was your meeting?

Grace: Well, we have roasted chicken tonight with an array of sides! And champagne on ice! Because Whitworth Estates just signed a $70 million dollar contract to expand to the east coast!

Kathy: Oh, my congratulations!!

Erica: Ahhhh!! Congratsss!

Elle: OMG, THAT’S AMAZING GRACE! Congratulations! Let’s all cheers, shall we? *pops champagne and pours all the women a glass*

Grace: I can’t believe it…well, I can, I am pretty awesome.

Kathy’s Confessional: She got a $70 million deal and all she could feed us is roasted chicken and champagne on a tug-a-boat? *laughs* I can’t. Congratulations, I guess!

Kathy: *raises glass* Cheers girls!

Dakota: Nothing like women supporting women. Cheers!

Erica: *holds my glass* Cheers!

Grace: Also, I’m a bit buzzed! *laughs as she takes a sip*

Elle: Good! You should be celebrating!

Erica: So, Grace, how often will you be over on the East Coast?

Grace: We’re expanding so I think Amy my daughter will make the move! Now, Erica baby, tell me what’s on your mind.

Kathy: Yes, I’d love to hear it!

Dakota: Not to interrupt, but I have to step out for just one second ladies. Elle, Kathy, I think we got the studio back just making some final arrangements. *walks away and off the boat*

Erica: *takes a sip of my champagne* Well, I’m just gonna go straight to punch here. Kathy, me & you hit it off; well, I thought we did, but if I’m being honest, I’m starting to think this persona you have about being on this mental journey and spirituality working on yourself is coming across very unauthentic and fabricated so that you can look good in the eyes of the court. So, it has me thinking, is this all an act?

Kathy: *looks at Erica* You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?

Elle: I can promise you, it’s not an act. She’s going through a lot personally.

Grace: Calmly respond Kathy!

Erica: I’m dead serious love! And Elle, please wait your turn because trust me. You’re Next.

Elle’s Confessional: This boat is sinking, Kathy is going to literally set it on fire just wait.

Elle: I can speak whenever I please, this isn’t Erica’s court, thank you.

Grace: Well, this is my boat so I’ll ask you all take turns to listen

Elle: Don’t tell me what to do. She’s talking to me like a child, Grace.

Erica: Because if a glass comes into this direction again it won’t be the only thing flying

Elle: Now you’re accusing me of throwing a glass at you? False.

Grace: Not my plastic wear!

Elle: I threw it at the ground

Kathy: I’m going to give you one more chance to readdress me before I drench your Versace in red wine. Do you not remember me having a full-on breakdown privately off camera at your house about everything going on in my life?

Erica: You threw it and the glass shattered near me, Elle! Like I said throw another one and it won’t be the only thing FLYING!

Kathy’s Confessional: Who is Erica to question my journey? I never question if her business is legit. *shrugs*

Elle: Is that a threat? Or a promise? *sits back and sips*

Erica: *stands* Kathy, you say you’re so spiritual, and BITCH you’re doing the opposite of everything you’re saying you’re trying to accomplish. It’s just so you can win this legal battle. And I said what I said!

Grace: What legal battle?

Erica: With her husband!

Kathy: Because bitches like you keep pushing me backwards! I’m not opening up to a group of inauthentic bitches. Erica knows my story; she’s just playing stupid.

Erica: No bitch, because you’re a fraud and I see right through your act!

Elle: She’s not a fraud.

Grace’s Confessional: A fraud? I knew I liked Erica *laughs*

Erica: Elle, SHUT UP!

Kathy: I’m glad you think you know what little you have met of me.

Elle: Don’t raise your voice at me. I’ve spoken calm since this started.

Erica: You stand over there, and take a sip of your champagne, and shut the fuck up!

Elle: Excuse your mouth.

Erica: God, you’re like her guard dog.

Kathy: Erica, come on bitch, raise up girl or get the fuck out. *stands up* I’m not a punk ass bitch.

Erica: She’s almost 80 she can take care of herself.

Elle: Sit down we’re on a boat it could capsize with your weight. *laughs*

Erica: *stands* Bitch!

Elle: What? What’re you going to do Erica? Hit me?

Kathy: Elle, you sit back. I got this one.

Erica: *comes around the table and gets in Elle’s face* YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS MINION!

Kathy: Maybe one on one we can talk. But not anymore on this boat.

Elle’s Confessional: I’m not scared of this little girl. She’s not a threat to anyone, but she wants to stand and scream and be all big bad wolf. Ooo shiver me timbers!

Elle: *laughs and pushes her forehead back with one finger* Do something. I dare you.

Kathy: Erica, my god. Look at how angry you are? Is everything okay with you?

Erica’s Confessional: Elle is a minion and I’m sick of it, in a minute, the bitch is going overboard!

Grace: *gets in the middle* Stop right now! Sit back down.

Erica: *mushes Elle’s face as she falls back* Don’t touch me! Grace, she got me fucked up!

Elle: *chair falls over* Are you kidding me?

Grace: Let’s separate.

Kathy: That’s enough you two! Elle, you go sit your ass back Over there!

Grace: I’m not having this!

Elle: *grabs all my stuff* I’m not going to be physically assaulted, are you serious?

Erica: *points in Kathy’s face* AND YOU TOO BITCH!

Kathy: Bitch, look at WHO’S the angry one now!

Elle: *stands in corner far away from them* Grace, get your friend! She’s literally out of control!

Erica: *turns away* Let me go, before I murder an old bitch. Wanna touch me and then play victim?

Elle: You got in MY face! Don’t act like I’m the one who started this!

Erica: I’m done, I’m done!

Kathy: Well, go be fucking done. You started this all, Erica!

Erica: *looks for my bag* Bitches mad because they’re a fraud? Worry about your husband Kathy, not me. Bankrupt bitch

Elle’s Confessional: What is WRONG with this girl Jesus? I spoke calmly and maybe I was provocative, but she needs to get control over her physical anger.

Erica’s Confessional: For Elle to put her hands on me was just a huge NO! She wants to be seen as this sweet innocent girl but we see who you are. Kathy & Elle are both on my shitlist. I bet she won’t touch somebody face again though. *laughs*

Erica then walks off onto the dock as the camera pans back to the three remaining Ladies, as tense music plays, when Grace’s phone dings…

Grace: *ignores the girls and reads phone* Oh my God.

Kathy: What’s going on?

Grace: It’s another article on Amal…it’s so sad. It says now she’s being sued it Twitter! Look girls! *hands them her phone*

Elle: *reads phone* My opinion remains unchanged, she put herself in this spot. *sits down and sips*

Kathy: Once again, why are we talking about it without her here?

Grace: Okay, I’m not talking to you about it. You know nothing about Amal clearly.

Kathy: This is legal. We could all be subpoenaed in the court

Elle: You just brought it up, did you not?

Kathy: I actually don’t know her, which is why I don’t wanna discuss it,

Elle: I’m allowed to voice my opinion. She put herself in this position.

Kathy’s Confessional: I am damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t with this Group. If I talk about it, I’m gossiping. I don’t talk about it, I’m not sticking up for her.

Grace: *claps* If it’s not about Kathy then it’s not worth mentioning

Kathy: Here’s what I will say there is two sides to every story. *gets up and dances around* You’re damn right, that’s correct! Thank you, Grace! As we just sat here and heard you gloat all about your next venture! Shut up with that shit!

Erica: *walks back and looks at Grace* What’s happening?

Grace: Yet it’s okay for you to go on about all your ventures?

Kathy: I haven’t said a single thing about my business since we’ve been here. I’ve let you have this weekend for talk all about you!

Grace: Listen. I wish you the best. Please leave this boat, Elle if you need to follow then please do so.

Kathy’s Confessional: Grace and her double standards! She is literally a walking contradiction.

Elle: Oh, thank God. *runs off heels in hand* Let’s GO!

Kathy: This tug-a-boat had me sick anyways!

Grace: I’ve tried to be a good host and I’m done with having it thrown back in my face. You can both go.

Kathy: You’re a great hostess, Grace! Don’t have to tell us two twice.

When then see Kathy and Elle quickly walking off the boat and down the dock…

Grace: *pops a bottle* Here Erica, cheers to women supporting women and not taking any bullshit!

Erica: CHEERS BITCH! *holds my glass up* I’m so sorry for this love, but Elle touched me, and I won’t go for that

Grace: *laughs* I just can’t with those two. Something is always wrong nothing is ever good enough. Well, it’ll be funny when they get to the house, their things are already packed for them. Let’s enjoy the rest of our last evening now!

The camera then pans down the dock to where Kathy and Elle are standing…

Elle’s Confessional: What the h e double hockey sticks was that? Like WHAT? First, I have Erica barking at me like a dog, then shoving my chair down after she got in MY face and I pushed her away. Now Grace being a grade A b word? Bye, I’m going back to Twitter catch me on the flip side.

Elle: What was that? What is up with that Erica chick is she like ok? I’m seriously concerned for her mental well-being.

Kathy: I think she may have problems of her own.

Elle: Lucky Devyn and lucky Dakota for missing out on this. I was so calm, I spoke to her calmly, didn’t get out of my seat nor raise my voice and she can’t control herself to the point she feels she needs to bark in my face then shove me down when I push her away? With literally one finger, no violence intended. She’s got problems.

Kathy: That was just child-like behavior if you ask me. She’s just weird.

Elle: Let’s just go home, I’m WAY over this trip.

Kathy: Thank God Chris is getting the jet here for us. I can’t do that little puddle jumper of a plane Grace had for us!

Elle: Ugh, I love him, he really does pull through!

As we see a shot of Kathy and Elle rushing away from the docks, the camera pans to a shot of Erica and Grace having drinks on the boat, before the scene fades to black as the episode comes to an end.

Next time on Ladies of Twitter…Luciana and Amal meet for dinner, but a surprise guest threatens to derail the evening. As the other Ladies return from New York, they attempt to figure out their personal issues as a big scandal awaits the group.