Season 7, Episode 5: ‘Skincare and Screams’

As the episode begins, we see scenes of the streets of Twitter, which are decorated with Christmas decorations. We then see the cameras zoom in on a homeless shelter in downtown Twitter, where Kylee is busy preparing things in the kitchen for dinner. Then several of the other women show up and begin to get ready to begin feeding.

Kylee Confessional: Today I’ve invited a couple of the ladies to help prepare food, donate money, and give back to the homeless. I’ve invited Brian because although we’ve had our *sharp breath* differences, he’s a very charitable person and I know he can be professional when the time calls for it.

Tre Confessional: Kylee has invited me over to help her feed the homeless today. Despite me feeling she’s a drunk, it’s nice to know that she’s actually doing something nice for the community and I’m willing to help in anyway shape or form! Hopefully all goes well and know food starts flying around or anything.

Leah: Kylee! Where are the hair nets! Let’s get to work!

Kylee: There in the corner with gloves and everything else you’ll need! Thank all you ladies so much for coming.

Tyler: Thanks for setting this up Kylee! And hello gorgeous Leah, had so much fun with you the other night.

Jac: Don’t we all look festive!

Tyler: We do, me and the girls *points at boobs* tried

Leah: Brian…how’re you doing?

Brian: Hi Leah my love, I’m good, how’re you?

Leah: I’m good. You just flew right in didn’t you *laughs*

Kylee: Ladies, so I have meal prep over here *points to counter with sandwich items* and hot meals over here *points to stove with soups and stews* Pick your poison! I’ll be handling pastries and desserts.

Leah: *raises hand* Can we confirm people can actually cook before we hand off jobs? I mean the homeless have suffered enough *laughs*

Tre: I’ll be in the corner with sandwich items

Jac: Which corner? I’ll go to the other corner if that’s okay Kylee…

Tre: Yeah, she can go the other way. Don’t want to get the people sick

Jac: Jesus Tre! We’re here to feed the homeless do you have to be so frickin’ catty all the time? Like does your cunty energy ever take a break?

Leah: Come on Jac, let’s just get to work.

Tyler Confessional: We need 10–12 corners to separate all these ladies and their drama

As most of the women get down to work, we see Brian walk out into the dining area where some of the homeless are sitting while the food is being prepared.

Brian: *to a group of homeless women* Do you guys have Cable? My show premieres in two weeks! *begins chatting with the women*

BACK IN THE KITCHEN

Kylee: *looks around* Wait, now where is Brian?

Leah: So did Brian speak to you Kylee?

Kylee: No, but I’m about to get her ass back in here *sees Brian sitting at a table with homeless women and walks out of the kitchen* Hey Brian, can you come back and help prep some food? We’d really appreciate the help.

Brian: So I can’t speak to the homeless?

Kylee: No, you can, but after we’ve prepped all the food, Brian.

Brian: *silently walks back to the kitchen*

Brian Confessional: Just because she is dressed in a homeless costume doesn’t mean she can boss me around

THIRTY MINUTES LATER

The camera pans over the women all helping put the finishing touches on the food as they put it on the serving trays in front of the counter.

Kylee: Hi everybody! We’ve just finished make your guys’ meals and are SO excited to serve them to you.

Leah: Kylee, I have to leave early but on behalf of my husband and I we wanted to give you this. Such a great cause *hands Kylee a check for $15,000*

Kylee: Thank you SO much Leah! That’s so helpful!

Brian: Actually Kylee…could I borrow you for a quick second.

Kylee: Sure Brian *leaves Tre, Tyler, and Jac serving*

Brian: *standing just outside the kitchen* I don’t like you, and I don’t even feel safe around you. I only came to help these people today but I wanted to thank you for doing this good work for people who don’t have what we have in life.

Kylee: I feel the exact same way about you, but thank you for coming it means a lot to them I’m sure. Let’s leave it at that then?

Brian: That’s fine. *walks away rolling his eyes* Freakin rats nest on her head. Gross

Tyler: *whispers to Brian as he walks back in* Bri, are you good?

Kylee: *taps knife on glass* Ladies, I would like to say something.

Brian: *whispers back* yeah besides Jac’s constant side eyes and Kylee’s never ending speeches. Her hair looks like she is a new home for birds.

Kylee: I’d like to thank all of the ladies who came out to help today and on behalf of the Kylee Valenderia Food Closet would like to donate $1,000,000 to homeless shelters across Twitter. Again thank you all so much for coming to help today! And I hope you guys all LOVE the food!

Jac: *applauding* That’s amazing Kylee!!

Tyler: *to Brian* You and Jac love each other, you guys arguing is silly. I love you both *begins clapping for Kylee*

Tyler Confessional: Hope that check clears *laughs*

Brian: I did something bad…

Tyler: What’s that Bri? What did you do?

Brian: Let’s get together soon, I’d rather not talk about it when she is around.

Tre: *walks up to Kylee* Well thank you for inviting me. I had fun serving back to community in whatever way I could. Good luck with the foundation and have a good life. See ya! *walks out*

Kylee: What just? Okay.

Jac: Girl, it’s a Christmas miracle *laughs*

Jac Confessional: Every time Tre walks out of a room, the energy just lightens. No more cuntiness *gum pops*

Jac: Ok ladies, I’m going to call it. Thank you ladies *hugs all and heads towards the exit*

Brian: Girlies I’m heading out! Tyler I’ll see you soon! *heads towards exit running into Jac*

Jac: We need to sit down Bri

Brian: I’ve sat enough today. Maybe next week *keeps walking out*

Jac: WOW

Kylee: Now that it’s just us, Tyler, let’s talk for a minute.

Tyler: Sure, what’s up doll?

Kylee: Look I know Brian’s your cousin and I 100% don’t want you to feel like you have to pick sides so I’m just telling you that I understand the family stuff and that I wouldn’t want to ever come between you two or anything like that so I hope you can truly see that and understand that I’m not going to drag you into this or expect you to get involved with our issues and if you take his side I won’t be pissed because that’s family and I wouldn’t expect you to back me up.

Tyler: I appreciate that. Can I give you my take on things? I’ve known Brian since birth and I understand why when he doused you with the cider you got upset, but in that moment, I truly think he was playing with you and I know you don’t know him like that, but he’s a sarcastic jokester

Kylee: But it was the combination of “You’re the devil, you’re possessed by Ava.” and the cider that really made me lose my shit. I understand that he could’ve been joking, but if he had just said, “Hey I’m sorry you were hurt and upset you weren’t invited, don’t take it personally.” But choosing to say the devil and Ava and doing the cider was the wrong way to handle it, because you know me Tyler, I fly off the handle when I feel attacked.

Tyler: I mean I’m just saying, I don’t feel he attacked intentionally and now it’s this whole big bullshit affair. I think he was originally joking *shrugs*

Kylee: I mean I guess, I don’t know, he doesn’t wanna talk about it and honestly neither do I so I’m just kinda dropping it and moving on

As the two ladies finish their conversation, they hug as Tyler departs and Kylee surveys the remaining mess to clean up in the kitchen. The scene then shifts as we see snow falling across Twitter as the sun rises on a new day. We then see Devyn hustling around a venue where there is a business unveiling this afternoon over lunch. One by one, most of the ladies arrive, ready to find out what Devyn is announcing.

Devyn Confessional: The time is here! Wow! I can’t believe it. I’ve stopped working day to day in my practice to work on some develop things in the lab. I’m thrilled one of those products is launching tonight. I want friends or foes to see this success.

Billie: Girl look at you!! All business casual and such. I’m so proud of you, and I plan to drop a pretty penny on this skincare line you’ve been working hard on.

Devyn: Your support through this process has been everything, Billie

Billie: Of course, I mean I’ve been with you to the Labs and testing centers. I kinda feel apart of this skincare line *laughs*

Devyn: Ladies, thank you to all who have come!

Tre: Hi everyone! You all look cute for ‘some’ women

Tyler: Jac sends her best, she’s already away for the holidays

Devyn: Thank you for relaying that message Tyler, ladies, mingle around and try my products. I’ll have a set for each of you to bring home. Thank you all for coming out! I am so honored

Leah: Very cute packaging Devyn!

Tre: Oooh yes! I was hoping I could get a discount. *giggles* Devyn you truly are helping the homeless in this room among these ladies… *tries product* This looks good on my face. Could probably work for…nevermind

Tyler: These products’ smell great, Devyn

Tre: Tyler, I need to speak with you for a second

Tyler: *walks to the side with Tre* What’s up?

Tre: I need your help. *laughs* How do you deal with these fake bitches? You’ve known them longer than me.

Tyler: Who is being a fake bitch? *laughs* Spill that tea honey!

Brian: *walks over* Probably Kylee…you know allegedly, she isn’t even Italian

Kylee: *overhears the conversation and walks over* My, my, my. You bitches LOVE ME, don’t you?

Brian: Were we talking to you hound? Mind your own business

Kylee: *picks up champagne glass* You know…

Brian: Try me bitch. You want to get me wet again?

Devyn Confessional: Here we go the drama is starting. I can’t even keep up. I’m staying out of it, I need to speak to a couple colleagues that came as well.

Kylee: I find it really funny how you can’t keep my name out your mouth again!

Tre: If I were you, I would take your fat ass and take ten steps back *steps between the two*

Billie: Girls, can we not act a damn fool here? Devyn has potential buyers.

Kylee: And Tre, really? Fake Italian?

Brian: Kylee, you’re not even really Italian so stop talking about it NON STOP!

Kylee: That’s original you cunt. Actually Brian, I am. *steps closer* Watch your fucking mouth.

Leah: *walks up* Well Tre does have a lot to say about a lot of people here so why not share with the group

Tre: *puts hand in Leah’s face* Darling, I’m not speaking to you. And takes a cunt to know one…

Kylee: Don’t do that to her Tre.

Leah: *smacks Tre’s hand* Watch that hand Bigfoot! I will knock those fillers right out of cheeks. Keep it cute or as close as you can come to cute.

Billie: *steps in the middle of the fight* Girls STOP it right now. Get it together and ACT LIKE LADIES!

Brian: Kylee, you’re a classless bitch! Get lost bitch! *tips over chair*

Tre: Big Foot? Okay well tell Apollo and his small penis that Big Foot loves trouble…

Kylee: You call me classless yet I haven’t done a thing today, and here you are smacking chairs Brian.

Leah: Worry about your husband bitch and stop checking for mine! Go back to your rent a husband.

Tyler: *grabs Brian* Honey stop, don’t let these women get you there.

Brian: YOU FRAUD! You suddenly have amnesia?? Did you forget EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE? Tell her Tyler! Tell her everything! Get the digital list out from my notes app!

Kylee: Oh I’m a fraud? Really?

Tre: *laughs* Leah girl you’re funny. Did you learn that from Jacqueline? And you know nothing about my life… *walks closer to Leah* You know nothing, but I squash people like you for fun and I’ll make sure to tell Apollo all about your fucking acts…

Leah: This is ridiculous, bring it bitch *walks to Tre* I’ll molly wop your ass any day any place

Tre: Molly wop? Bitch I’ll drag you up and down the road like you were a damn rag doll you non-motherfucking factor BITCH.Kylee: I find it so funny that you’re insinuating I’m an alcoholic with Tre yet, isn’t your twin in and out of rehab Brian? Shauna? Who’s the real fraud? *smirks*

Brian: She has an addiction! How dare you! She has issues and rehab is a place to work on addiction. How FUCKING DARE YOU

Kylee: *laughs* Cry about it then. Leave me outta it bitch

Devyn: *overhears and walks back over* Please ladies stop, this could be big for me.

Tyler: Brian, we’re going back over to the sample tables again. Tre, you too. *grabs Brian and then Tre* We’re done. This is done. People talking about our family has no fucking place here.

Leah: Let’s go before I knock this bitch’s second nose off her face.

Kylee: Desperate whore *walks towards the door with Leah*

Leah Confessional: Ms. Tre has just started a war. It’s on EVERY TIME I SEE THAT BITCH.

Tyler: Devyn, I’m sorry about this. These heifers have ruined any number of events.

Devyn: Tyler, it’s okay, thank you.

Tre: But Tyler you seriously can’t be friends with that rat, right?

Tyler: Well I have an issue with her trying to discuss my family at an event like this. She must forget that’s my cousin too

Billie Confessional: This is down right embarrassing someone needs to tell Kylee to tone it down. Her yapping chihuahua Leah isn’t any help either.

Devyn: Ladies, I have a little speech

Kylee: Let’s stay for Devyn’s speech then go.

Leah: *to Kylee* I frankly don’t give a damn about this speech. What is she gonna say? She didn’t test it on lab rats like Tré? I’ll be in the car… *walks out*

Tre Confessional: Kylee and Leah don’t know what they’ve fucking started, but just know I will finish it. Have you not seen Ladies of Twitter Season 2? I’m not bothered by friends of, I only associate with people on my level.

Devyn: Thank you to everyone here for the support. We have sold out tonight. Thank you to my best friend Billie for all of the support. I couldn’t have done without you. Also a special thanks to Jac Carter for influencing the amazing packaging you see. Lastly, thank you my family that came in from Jamaica just for this. Thank you.

The ladies then erupt in applause and congratulate Devyn once more.

Kylee: *to Devyn* Congrats darling, *hands her champagne* Here’s mine & Leah’s gift, thank you for having us, and good luck with the product.

Billie: *walks back over to Tre, Tyler, and Brian* Tre and Brian, what the fuck was that that happened?

Tre: Because she’s a Krusty Kunt, they’re all up Jac’s ass

Brian: You have no idea. Classic Kylee talking about my twin sister and making fun of her because she has an addiction.

Tyler: Yeah, she insulted Brian’s sister, my cousin for addiction.

Billie: I don’t think we as women should ever sink that low. Like can we take jabs at each other without going for family or anyone other than the person you’re fighting with.

Tre: Well I can’t lie Billie and say I didn’t see her husband dancing with another woman at Tyler’s party…

Billie: Well girl I don’t know. I love Kylee I really do, but damn the girl is off her rocker, I think she and I need to talk, because attacking Brian’s sister is not cool at all, and her attacking Tre is not okay either.

Tyler: Well Brian and I’s car is here, thanks for having us Devyn, I’ve got my bag of goodies. *both hug Devyn and head out*

As the scene changes, we see a shot of a Christmas Tree in Twitter’s City Square followed by a text reading “Christmas Day.” We then hear holiday music with loud bells as the cameras then focus in on Brian who can be seen putting the finishing touches on things around the house for a Christmas celebration with the entire family. We see shots of Brian’s husband playing with the twins while Tina helps Brian in the kitchen. We then see Tyler arrive with his husband and family.

Brian Confessional: I am SO beyond excited for Christmas! Christmas is always a HUGE deal for my family and I’m sooo excited to have everyone together!

Tyler: *knocks on door as Zack carries presents*

Brian: OMG HELLO LOVE, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Tyler: Merry Christmas, we’re so glad to be here, we brought presents!

Brian: Obviously! I’d turn your ass away if you didn’t have them! *Turns around to the tree* yours are all under the tree

Brian Confessional: It’s weird to not celebrate Christmas with your twin sister, but let’s face it…Tyler was always more of a sister than a cousin.

Tyler: Was Santa good to our precious little babies?

Brian: YAS! Toys, diapers, stuffed animals, what more could they have wanted?

Tyler: They live a blessed life, we all do.

Brian: What about you? Get anything good?

Tyler: Zack spoils me all the time *laughs* He bought me and the girls tickets for a vacation over their spring break. They were thrilled *laughs*

Brian: Well I’m jealous! We will need a getaway soon. Maybe we can bring the ladies away. It would be hard not to drown them! *laughs*

Tyler: Yes, we need to get away! It’s gotten cold here in Twitter. *laughs* You’re bad! What’s happening these days with you all? You and the women always seem to butt heads these days.

Brian: Well… *interrupted by the doorbell*

The door then swings open to reveal a woman in a red dress.

Glamma Sophia: Where the heck is everyone?

Brian Confessional: Our dearest Glamma Sophia is…a character… 97 years old… but looks 57 thanks to Botox. She’s had 6 husbands and currently lives down south with husband number 6.

Brian: Tyler, it’s your turn, go find her and help her!

Tyler: Glamma!! *hugs* Now you know you can’t come in here looking better than me like you did!

Glamma: Well look at you little Tyler…not much sleep last night? Or do you just enjoy having bags under those wide eyes?

Tyler: Well with my new husband, it’s hard to sleep Glamma *laughs* Let’s go see everyone *walks with Glamma into the dining room*

Glamma: This table is set perfectly….if this was a scene from that new grinch movie. Speaking of the grinch where is Brian. Those cheekbones put the grinch to shame.

Brian: *walks out from kitchen* Well hello to you too! And merry Christmas Glamma!

Tyler Confessional: Glamma is a riot. *laughs* She sounds like she hates us, but I swear she loves us

Glamma: *looks at Brian then back at Tyler, surveying both* Well butter my biscuit! I never thought I’d see you both in the same room.

Tyler: Brian’s always been another sister to me Glamma, we just had a little bump in the road

Brian: We can overcome anything. See? *hugs Tyler*

Glamma: I’ve seen blow up plastic dolls not as fake as you two. Now both of you sit. *both sit down* Now…where do I begin? Are y’all down being petty? Both of you are fools for digging our family name through the mud last year. *clips show Brian and Tyler fighting last year*

Tyler: We’re stronger than ever if you ask me though, seriously.

Brian: Glamma, we aren’t five anymore. We know how to get along and we’ve learned to fake it. But we’re good now!

Glamma: *slams hands one table* I am serious! The both of you need to cut this out. Who knows how much longer I have walking on this flat earth.

Brian: We are serious! We’ve moved on to big issues!

Glamma: WHAT!? WHO!? WHAT!?! Big issues??! Who do I need to take care of! You know myself and my retirement ladies know a few boys from the lower Twitter who can take care of this issue.

Brian: *Laughs* Well I actually didn’t get to tell Tyler yet…

Tyler: Oh? What’s that?

Brian: Well you see Glamma…Jac hasn’t been the most loyal. I’m having issues with another girl and Jac seems to be defending her over me..

Glamma: Listen, don’t cut Jac out just yet….just skin a layer off of her

Tyler: You missed it Brian. I tried to tell Kylee that you never meant any harm. After you left the homeless shelter, she pulled me aside and I tried to tell her she had it wrong, you meant no ill

Brian: Well thank you for that. But after I stormed off from the table the other day I went somewhere

Glamma: Well where the hell did you go!? A visit to the mill man?

Brian: I was LIVID WITH Jac! She needs to be loyal to me! I went to the Twitter Court House…Jac is no longer the Godmother to my babies…

Tyler: *mouth drops* I thought you guys had moved past it at my party though? I think Jac really does love and care for you though, Bri

Glamma: I really don’t give a dogs RIP! She wasn’t being loyal. She should be happy that’s all that happened!

Brian: Well the thing is I did this before we made up….I wasn’t thinking straight…and now I don’t know what to do. In order for me to reinstate her as the godmother I need to get her to sign a document *nervous giggles*

Tyler: That will be…awkward. Are you going to ask her again?

Brian: NO. We just need her to sign the document without realizing what she’s signing *laughs*

Tyler: Oh my God. I’m telling you though, she’s gonna be mad.

Glamma: Well good luck to you both. You will need it. *glamma looks at Tyler* Now you will stick with your cousin correct?

Tyler: He’s my cousin Glamma, I’m going to stick with him, but Bri. *looks at Brian* I’m close with Jac too. You can’t get mad at me if I’m talking to her and spending time with her. I’ve told these women your heart and that you come from a good place every time and I’ll continue to do that

Brian: Well thanks I guess! Ha! Alright alright well let’s enjoy the dinner and worry about this another time?

Glamma: This will work out and, if not, just skin a slight layer. *hugs Brian and Tyler together*

The scene then shifts as the rests of the family comes to gather around the dinner table, ready to enjoy dinner, followed by the cameras showing them all finally laughing and eating as their dinner is finally served. As they enjoy their dinner, the scene fades out as the episode ends.

NEXT TIME ON LADIES OF TWITTER

Tensions reach a new height as accusations are leveled against Kylee. Elsewhere, Tyler and Brian go to see Jac and Brian gives him news of what he has done.