Season 8, Episode 2: ‘Starz In Her Eyes’

Previously on Ladies of Twitter…Leah, Tyler, and Brian traveled to San Francisco to look at Tyler’s perfume and packaging. However, trouble quickly ensued when Brian clashed with Tyler over some of his business decisions. Then, at brunch, the tension rose to a new level as Brian’s old friend Nick entered with a shady bomb…

Nick: So Tyler, what’s this new little hobby of yours again?

Tyler: OH…well my new BUSINESS is that I’ve developed a perfume *smiles*

Nick: A perfume! That’s so cute. You know I admire that. So many of these new perfumes these days smell like floor cleaner. I’m excited for this!

Leah: So Nick, tell us about yourself. Are you married, single, what’s up?

Nick: I’m married, to the most skilled and gorgeous plastic surgeon in Twitter! He just did Brains boobs! *pulling at Brian’s top* show those girls off!

Brian: *laughs* YEESSSS!

Tyler: Did he do yours as well? *smirks* Yours are nice.

Leah Confessional: Did he not finish with Nick’s? *makes off-center gesture* Nick’s boobs are clearly cousins twice removed and not sisters *laughs*

Nick: Tyler, of course! He does all my work. That’s why I look so amazing. Well…I do my own Botox, but other than that, this is all Dr. Price.

Tyler: Wow, wait, so you do your own?

Brian: She’s a thrill! I told ya! A very REAL person too…

Leah: Your own Botox?

Tyler: Leah, we’ve been doing it all wrong girl *laughs*

Nick: Yes, I’ve been doing my own botox for years! I’m a nurse so I’m licensed to do it, so Leah in a few years when that face starts to sag like these girls, I’ll take care of you. *winking*

Leah: Thankfully my face is tight and right. No tune-up necessary, but thank you.

Tyler: So Nick, how’s your little pet shop? Nick runs a fabulous little pet shop with cats galore, Leah.

Brian: A high-end shop! Tyler, maybe once you get your perfume off the ground, you can do scents for pets!

Tyler: We can dream that I reach that height one day, Bri

Nick: It’s actually a cat cafe, Tyler.

Leah: Cafe? What are you serving? Pussycinnos? Sounds interesting…

Nick: So we don’t do adoptions. It’s just a fun chill environment where you can get the highest quality teas and coffee, and play with cats. We even actually have a pussy parfait on the menus!

Brian: It’s the cutest shop

Tyler: Leah and I will have to take the kids sometime…

Nick: Tyler, but really, if you’re looking to branch out and do scents for pets, let me know! Some of those babies smell atrocious! *whispers to Leah* We also have a secret menu, and I totally recommend the mommy tea! Da-Hong Pao Tea with a shot of vodka, and a crushed Xanax! It’s to die and really takes the edge off.

Leah: Crushed. Xanax. I’ve really heard it all. *laughs*

Tyler: Well if my first perfume does well, it’s certainly something I’d consider.

Brian: I’m sure it will be absolutely amazing Ty!

Brian Confessional: I hope that Tyler is enjoying this nice Brian Social.

Brian: So Tyler, are you happy with what you learned on the trip?

Tyler: It’s been so fun! I miss Zack though. I wish I could just have him and the kids here and never leave *laughs* I did enjoy this trip though. I’m glad that you two got to smell the fragrance and I appreciated the numbers advice that I got as well, I promise. But I’ve had fun with the two of you this weekend!

Brian: Oh wow okay. So now you appreciate the numbers. Good to know. *sighs*

Tyler: Bri, I told you there that I appreciated that!

Brian: Okay Ty, okay.

Nick: *sips his champagne* I smell tension!!

Brian: You know what Tyler, I’m not leaving this city with this tension. I thought that you wanted me on this trip for an honest opinion!

Tyler: Bri, I told you what I didn’t appreciate there! It was just the comments about my packaging, I appreciated the numbers stuff, you’re great at that. If I came across overly sensitive about the packaging though, I apologize.

Brian: So you're upset I said the bottle of your perfume looks like it belongs to someone who lives in a nursing home?

Leah: Oh God, not again.

Tyler: Brian, you can either accept my apology or not. I’m not kissing your ass, I already said I might’ve been oversensitive.

Nick: Leah, what did you think about the packaging? Brian knows his shit, so I’m sure you agree.

Leah: I think Tyler did a great job because it’s what Tyler wanted. It doesn’t matter our opinion!

Brian: *reaches down and digs through Tyler’s bag* SEE NICK! HERE IT IS!

Nick: It looks a little phallic to me…

Tyler: Oh WOW, this is gross. Don’t touch my purse again *begins tearing up*

Brian: I can’t touch your purse now?!?

Nick: Ohhhh, someone’s crying!

Leah: Enough! Maybe we should just leave because this is getting insane!

Tyler: Can we just go back to the hotel and get our bags honestly? *wipes eyes* I apologized, you clearly don’t want to accept it, that’s that.

Nick: Tyler, it isn’t that deep. If you like the packaging, that’s what matters. Cheers to your dreams!

Brian: I accept it! I accept it! Can I not carry your luggage to the plane? Can I touch THAT bag!? And exactly Nick! *rolls eyes*

Leah: It was really nice to meet you, Nick. I’ll go with you, Tyler.

Brian: Oh my God, I’m coming with you guys. Just stahpppp already!

Tyler: Please as always to see you, Nick.

Nick: It really is your pleasure and I’m sorry that Brian made you cry. Nice to meet you as well Leah. Brian, I’ll come by when you’re in the office for your vaginal rejuvenation.

Tyler Confessional: Here we go again. And this time I fucking apologized. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t I guess

Tyler, Brian, and Leah then leave the restaurant and stand on the curb waiting for their car.

Brian: Tyler, oh my God, this needs to stop!

Tyler: Brian, I apologized to you! You can accept it or not, that’s where this ends for me.

Brian: Tyler, you seem mad still! I LOVE YOU!

Tyler: And I already told you that I love you too! And I fucking apologized. That’s why I’m saying here and now, this is done for me. If you don’t want the apology or whatever the case may be, that’s fine. I’m going back to the hotel now *gets into the car as it pulls up*

Brian: Oh my God, of course. *gets into car*

The women then drive away as the camera pans back to the table where Nick is sitting alone.

Nick: Is Mrs. Social’s tab still open? *waiter nods* Ohh good, I’ll have another glass on his tab, please.

The cameras then shift once again as the screen reads “BACK IN TWITTER.” We then focus in on a chic salon in downtown Twitter. There, we see a stunning woman running about working on various women’s hair and managing the stylists at their booths. Just then another gorgeous woman walks into the salon as well.

Tanya Confessional: Today, my girl Sophie is coming to visit at my salon and get BEAUTIFIED! *laughs* She’s a piece of work but I help her out quite a bit! *laughs*

Sophie Confessional: As a Starz, I know the best of the best and today I was invited by my good friend Tanya. She’s a longtime friend of mine and I honestly love her to death! I’m just really happy she invited me because a pretty face needs to get some things off of her chest.

Sophie: Tanya? Big sis, come out! *giggles*

Tanya: GIRL! Ms. Starz! You are looking fabulous today and I’m gonna help you look even better *laughs*

Sophie: *hugs Tanya* Thank you, thank you! And so do you! What have you been doing these days?

Tanya: Oh girl WORKING! Building my empire! Like always… but let’s go sit somewhere comfy while Michelle shampoos you. We can gossip! What would you like to drink boo?

Sophie: I really need a bottle of Chardonnay. It’s that day today. *giggles*

Tanya: *chuckles and brings out the bottle and pours a glass* here you go, girl! What’s been going on? You seem a bit frazzled.

Sophie: *gulps chardonnay* So… *lays head back* I go in my father’s office to find important files for today’s meeting, and I saw this whore on the desk in his office with him on top of her. To make matters worse, that’s his new wife, and they got married last night while I was asleep. *pours another glass*

Tanya: *gasps* GIRL WHAT? It sounds like your father has some serious issues.

Sophie Confessional: I am a Starz and we’re known for being dysfunctional. We’re ALSO known for owing the largest network entitled Starz and sometimes my life can be a lot. Actually, let me take that back, my life is a lot!

Sophie: Well this is lucky wife number 2. I mean my mom left us when she was little so he was looking for the nice piece of fish he can find. *laughs* How are you?

Tanya: I’m good girl! Just working, working, working. Opening up ANOTHER salon soon. That’ll be my fourth one… so I’ve really been focusing on that.

Sophie: ANOTHER?!? I’m so happy for you Tanya! How do you manage all these businesses?! I mean we’re both bosses in our respective industries, but isn’t it time for you to settle down?

Tanya: Thanks, boo! But girl I’m a BOSS and as you know, I can’t just stop being this way. I’ve worked for everything I have and I can’t just let my husband take care of me. Plus, he’s always at work or traveling for work so it’s just me & the kids. So I have to occupy my time with something and that something is work. I hope someday I’ll settle down and just enjoy life, but right now, I’m in grind mode 1000%

Sophie: I understand that! Have to make them coins! Speaking of your husband, how is he? I haven’t seen him since that party where we all got drunk and we were dancing on tables.

Tanya: *laughs* Good times…I’d say he’s good? Sort of? I barely see him. By the time he gets home from the office, he wants to go to sleep. Or he wants to have a quickie but we don’t talk about his day and he doesn’t even ask me how I’m doing…he wants food or sex, like any man. *sighs*

Sophie: Go to sleep?! Does he not know what’s he’s missing? I mean look at you! You’re gorgeous! I’m sure things will work out soon. And while we’re speaking of husbands….I don’t know if you know Dr. Adam Scott, whatever his name is, but have you ever met his wife Tyler Newman-Scott?

Tanya: You’re so sweet, thanks boo. I’ve seen her out a few times, she seems super sweet.

Sophie: Yes! So, I’ve recently pumped into her and she seems really sweet and she wanted to meet up with me sometime and said I could bring a plus one so I thought of you. Would you be willing to come with me?

Tanya: Yes, of course! I would LOVE to!

Sophie: I could introduce you as my long-lost mother. The mother I never had. *laughs*

Tanya: I’m always down for meeting new women. And Mother? GIRL! I’m definitely your sister, not your mama! *laughs*

Tanya Confessional: Mother?! Is this bitch crazy?! I may be a bit older than her, but not by much! I think the Botox has gone straight to her head!

Sophie: I think that was the chardonnay talking *laughs* My hair honestly feels so much better now Tanya, you’re honestly one of a KIND! I’ll cut you a check right now. How much? It’ll help with your new location, my gift.

Tanya: Thanks boo! And seriously? *squeals* GIRL, you are SO KIND! *hugs Sophie*

Sophie: *hugs Tanya* You deserve it, Tanya! I’ve never seen such a hard-working woman such as yourself.

Tanya: Thank you from the bottom of my heart girl!

Sophie: Anytime Tanya! *hugs one final time before I leave* Well I must get going now. Thank you for hooking me up sis! When I get back home I can show wife number two what a bossed up woman looks like. *smiles and giggles*

Tanya: *giggles and hugs Sophie* of course boo! Can’t wait for drinks. See you soon! And thanks again!!

As Sophie exits the salon, the scene shifts to Twitter’s Rodeo Drive where we see Brian waiting for Nick inside a boutique and looking around at various pieces.

Brian Confessional: I am BEYOND excited to be back in Twitter. San Fran was a shit show but I’m glad I ran into Nick. I invited Nick to go shopping with me today!

Just then, we see Nick arrive and step out of his new blacked out G Wagon as the wind blows through his hair. He walks inside and greets Brian as they continue shopping around the store.

Nick Confessional: It’s been a LONGGGG time since Brian AntiSocial and I have spent 1 on 1 time together. I’m really excited to reconnect and maybe get some insight into these new groups dynamic.

Nick: Brian I swear you look thinner every time I see you! Bulimia really suits you.

Brian: *shakes head smiling* MHM! You’ve got a bunch of fingers, you should start someday soon babe! *laughs*

Nick: Are you kidding! My body is perfect. I can’t keep Jim off of me, he’s like a little dog that won’t quit jumping your leg.

Brian: I’m sure you are used to dogs humping you! I’ve seen photos from your teen years…WOOF WOOF *laughs* So what’s new bugga boo?

Nick: Well I just had to fire one of our baristas today! She brought me a decaf coffee! The nerve of some people. *shaking my head*

Brian: DECAF? She may as well have given you rat poison!

Nick: Tell me about it. She had to go, it’s hard to be the boss sometimes but someone has to do it. So what’s new with you? Sent those little shits off to boarding school yet?

Brian: Well onward and upward! I’m sure you can find someone new. Now we just need to hope you don’t scare the next one away with those feet of yours! *laughs* my little monsters are turning one soon!!! I'm going to have a huge party.

Nick: Ohhh will I’ll have to get something nice. So what do they like Pinot Grigio?

Brian: Hun, it’s invite only…

Nick: Oh I’m so glad, it will be so much nicer that way. I think that Tyler might be jealous if both of us are there. Best not to even tell him about it.

Brian: Who said he’s invited??? Just kidding you’re all invited. I think he is still mad over the comment about his fragrance bottle only being used by the elderly.

Nick: It just looks like an anal douche to me.

Brian: My point exactly. Here she is inviting me…I thought she wanted my business expertise!

Nick: So what’s his deal anyway? Like you’re a successful businesswoman, your advice is invaluable. He just seems a little bit jelly to me.

Brian: Now, have you hung out a lot? At least when I’m not there? She seemed not happy to see you…

Nick: Brian I’ve met Tyler once or twice, that’s it. I think I just rub people the wrong way sometimes. I’m a bitch but you get used to it

Nick Confessional: Tyler is nice enough, I think he’s just very insecure. And a bit emotional *sips my champs* a cry baby actually

Brian: Look at me, with your stench, I still come around! By the way, my husband is busy, but I have Leah’s husbands birthday party coming up. Care to be my plus one?

Nick: Who? That mousey brunette from the other night?

Brian: That woman from San Fran. Skinny-ish talks a lot… yes her!

Nick: I mean I was going to get this mole removed, but what the hell. I’ll go celebrate

Brian: Perfect! Get me drunk enough and I’ll take the mole out! I’ll pick you up later!

Nick: Let’s whoop it up!!

As the camera pans away from the boutique, we focus in on a television studio in the business district of Twitter where we see Leah getting her hair and makeup done for her first segment on Good Morning Twitter.

Leah Confessional: This is my first official day as a Lifestyle and Beauty Correspondent on Good Morning Twitter! I am pumped but also nervous as hell! Apollo has meetings this morning so it’s just me! What if I faint? Forget my words? Oh God….

Executive Producer: Alright Leah… you’ve got about 5 minutes until your segment. How are you feeling?

Leah: Ummm. Super nervous! How will I know which camera to look at! What’s my cue again? The topics?

Executive Producer: Calm down girl! You’re going to do fine just follow the teleprompter like in rehearsal and you’ll be fine.

Leah then looks down at her phone buzzing as she gets a text from Apollo that reads, “Wishing you nothing but the best angel! You’re going to be amazing! Knock em dead! There will be a surprise waiting for you when you get back! I love you.”

Leah Confessional: Apollo and I had a slight disagreement last night because he doesn’t want me to really do this. He feels it’s going to take away from how our household is run. But getting this text just solidified how much my husband cares for me and supports me.

Just then, Leah is called to set and rushes towards the set where she tapes her first scene with Good Morning Twitter. She gives makeup tips and gives advice on viewers’ lifestyle questions, nerves having clearly dissipated. As she wraps her first segment and the cameraman calls CUT, the production team applauded Leah on a job well done.

Leah: Oh my God! That was so amazing! I’ve never felt more alive… Wow!

Executive Producer: Great job Leah! Your segment went flawlessly! I told you you’d do great. Keep that up! The network is really pleased with it. We will see you back on Friday!

Leah: Thank you Thank you!

As Leah walks back into the dressing room, she sees a large box sitting on the counter. She opens it to find a new Birkin bag.

Leah: OH MY GOD! Apollo is the sweetest, I love my husband.

Leah Confessional: I don’t care how many times the ladies are tired of hearing it! My husband is the greatest….and he knows the way to my heart. A brand new Birkin bag celebrating my brand new gig! *holds up Birkin in confessional*

As Leah celebrates her new Birkin bag and calls Apollo to thank him, the scene and episode end.

NEXT TIME ON LADIES OF TWITTER…Tyler meets with Sophie and Tanya hoping to spice up his look. Then at Apollo’s birthday bash, a situation with the invites creates trouble causing tears and screams as all the Ladies come face to face for the first time.